wheat thins and strawberry preserves

stilling.

2011-09-22T06:36:00.001-07:00

settle. settle. settle.

before one day was You knew them all to be.

great is Your faithfulness. great is your faithfulness. morning by morning new mercies i see. all that i cling to i lay at your feet. great is your faithfulness, new mercies i see.

today is new. yesterday was, you were there. today is, you are here. now, You. Are. Here. help me be here with you, and not making up for yesterday where your grace has covered.

peace. pause.

enough. sufficient is your grace.

thank You. forgiven. graced. loved.

still.

Abigail

2011-09-17T10:42:00.001-07:00

Meet my little cousin Abigail. Creative, energetic, hilarious, a "tell-it-like-it-is" girl, love filled to the rim, and a sporty spice (yet equally both). She like the rest of my gal cousins, is absolutely stunning!

Abigail is 8. A couple of years ago she had a class assignment that required her to write a letter to someone far, far away. I was her choice recipient in Colorado. Since moving closer, it's been amazing the way that she just wants to hang out with me. I have come to terms that it is okay I don't understand everything. Pure love, yep, that's just beyond me.

What do you do with that? Really? I went to watch her play softball today, which sometimes doesn't feel like a lot, but I hope she knows she's great.

But in all of my efforts of trying to love well, live well, and do well, sometimes I wonder if a know how to be loved well, enjoy life well, and be served well.

I am thankful that Abi's unknowing persistence is teaching me to the art of receiving, because...

...we love because He first loved us...

...any ways. (1John 4:19)

Oh, I forgot to mention that Abigail has also handed me down clothes. I didn't stutter.

Frizz ball to beautiful.

2011-09-13T05:50:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, especially here in NC, I wake up with a little frizz ball on my head. This morning absolutely. Instead of considering my mane an obstacle to tackle like normal, I thought of a much better idea.

I want one of these!!

It's worth some pondering.

Other references include, but are not limited to:

Macy Gray, Lauryn Hill, Jada Pickett Smith, Willow Smith (with braid alternatives), and Beyonce.

Friends

2011-09-09T06:50:00.000-07:00

Friends are amazing. Sheer gifts.

I began dating a gentleman less than one month after coming to NC. Three months later we were engaged, and a little over two months following his ring was returned. Lots has happened lightning fast, but that statement was already thought most likely.

Coryn and her husband Brandon were on top of things and bought a ticket for the wedding well in advance. Consequently they still had to come and see me even though the only white I wore this past weekend were in the form of bikini strap remains!

The two are both so funny; just best friends doing life together, and it's hilarious. Laughing so much has done my heart, soul, and mind a wonder and restored me in ways I could not heal alone.

Thankful.

Awake

2011-09-08T05:51:00.003-07:00

This is the most beautiful morning in North Carolina since I have been here. Cool, a hint of crispy fall, and blue, blue sky. Sometimes if I wake up early enough the quiet can be heard.

I love the quiet. A faint sound of train railing across town. The dropping of walnuts as squirrels trek branches. Oh, and morning melodies of the birds. I am such a sucker for nature.

_____

In seminary we are encouraged to practice writing. We become as we write. Our own voice speaks as time and words are spent. <-- See!

As I adventure into theology and psychology I welcome community. Fortunately there are endless blog-able topics, however I cannot think of them all. Likewise, yours are better, and I am up for the challenge.

Yes, this will include reflection over my time since moving to North Carolina. As a part of learning my voice, I risk seeing how much my voice is really liked. Me, maybe unlike you, really cares about being liked. That can backfire.

Since I have been told that I look like a teenager practically everyday for the past 2 months, here is some 17 year old advise: be confident, your Maker loves you. That changes everything.

Lenting 14: Morning

2011-04-20T04:41:00.004-07:00

Blessed morn' arise to see

another day

come heart believe

find Strength to know

to press

to sing

find Joy in Him

praise unto Thee

glory to Thine Love and Grace

glory to the Son who laid

life and trust to God

His hands

behold upon the Hope

of now

behold upon the Hope

of all

Good morning sun as you rise

Remind me of His Son

Our God

Lenting 13: Ponderous Asking Thoughts

2011-04-13T12:58:00.003-07:00

You ever have a lot of questions that you'd love to just ask?..shamelessly, no fear of them being out of line or embarrassing.

I do. All the time. Truth be known, sometimes I do ask. Come to find out, it's mostly not a big deal to the answeree.

Yesterday, for example, a very, very tall man was standing beside me. TALL. And I felt very short.

With relatively little hesitancy I asked, "Sir, can I ask you a question?"

"Six foot seven." He didn't hesitate to respond with a valuable answer at least! However, that wasn't really what I was going for.

"Oh, wow, that's great," I said applaudingly. "I was really wondering though whether you felt as tall right now as I feel short." I think that caught him off guard a bit because I think that he answered that question again with a close-ish answer.

There were laughs. And to be honest, because there were laughs I was okay with the turn out.

We are just people with one life. Sometimes if I don't ask the question I'm thinking to the person near me I might miss a sweet moment. Sweet moments, gosh they are fabulous. Worth the risk so far, but never easier.

However, I've noticed the closer I am with someone the more I hesitate. Not everyone. When you receive enough blunt questions from Mom, you start to ask some yourself.

You ever hesitate to ask Jesus questions? Really, do you? I do. Why when He says to ask.

Matthew 7:8 "But whoever ask receives, whoever seeks finds, whoever knocks the door will be opened to them."

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:22

And, Jesus has the right to answer somewhat like Tall Tom; a different answer than I expect.

But really, I fear the cost of losing respect and appreciation from someone that's let me enter their life; and them, mine. Or, what if my question is unwelcomed? Or, what if my question doesn't come out right? Or, what if I'm asking for too much? Too little?

Knowing that there are certainly moments to keep it shut, I just am thoughtful now of what holds me back. Others back.

Yea, i've had some bad experiences. Some well deserved, and others not.

To end my thoughts. God, can you please help me, help us to ask You what we want to? Need to? By the way, can You help us trust Your response?

Thanks.

Lenting 12: Collision...Woot

2011-03-30T14:23:00.002-07:00

The ultimate collision. :)

Hope you enjoy this as I did.

The heart breaking makes a sound
I never knew could be
So beautiful and loud
Fury filled and we collide

So courageous until now
Fumbling and scared
So afraid You'll find me out,
Alone here with my doubt

Here it comes, a beautiful collision
Is happening now.
There seems no end to where You begin and there I am now
You and I collide

Something circling inside,
Spaciously you fly
Infinite and wide,
Like the moon and sky
Collide

Here it comes, a beautiful collision
Is happening now.
There seems no end to where you begin and there I am now
You and I, collide

Yeah Yeah Yeah

Here it comes, Here it comes, Here it comes now
Here it comes, Here it comes, Here it comes now
Here it comes, Here it comes, Here it comes now
Collide
Here it comes, Here it comes now (You and I)
Here it comes, Here it comes now (You and I)
Here it comes, Here it comes, Here it comes now
Feel it coming on, Feel it coming on now, Here it comes now
Here it comes, Here it comes, Here it comes now

Lenting 11: Colliding

2011-03-28T20:09:00.003-07:00

Last night a group of old and new friends all joined together at the house to play games. We all had a blast. Even Dad joined in on the fun with a special appearance. :) This retirement thing is really loosening the pop's up I think!!

When world's collide, there is beauty. Obviously there are exceptions, but the lives brought together are beautiful. My cousin Lisa and her husband Joe are two hilarious and fabulous people that I've gotten the privilege to share life and chicken pot pie dinners with since they've been married.

How these two have not spent time with me and my friends Kristina and Chad that are fabulous, sweet, hilarious friends...i have no clue. Sunday night...beautiful collision.

And Mom and Dad. We can all agree, they are wonderful, great...beautiful two. :)

From working at Panera I have gotten to know my sweet Swiss friend Maya. I want faith like her and want to hang out with her and her husband Shane when possible. Not to mention, her parents are visiting from Switzerland and they joined in the collision!

I don't want this to seem like bragging on having friends. I need instead to confess our God is good. Our God is amazing doing exceedingly more than we can ask or imagine. My life looks nothing like I planned moving home. I've needed Him to take control. My heart is thankful.

As a result, I can't keep these blessings to myself. I want my friends to know each other and the richness of how wonderful God has made each of them.

There is grace as I look at these friendships. I'm thankful God has let me find joy in being a third wheel. I know this perhaps is not trendy, but I love seeing relationships, marriages. Couples that are inviting to a single gal is such a blessing to me. We just avoid games like checkers...or rotate! Double elimination anyone?!

As I get to know a friend of mine Dustin, in community and among friends, I hope my life is as inviting as the ones I shared the room with Sunday night. I hope my time with Dustin welcomes and is encouraging. Sure, we have lots and lots of fun together which is great. Perhaps this too, a beautiful collision.

Lenting 10: Moments.

2011-03-25T17:16:00.004-07:00

It's very obvious that I am a lazy lenter. Lazy. Lenter.

Sure, my life is very "un-lazy," but I fail to excuse myself from lent-blogging...other than...i'm tired. So tired. However, I am very thankful for the sweetness of life. God is very kind to be Him, give rest, and give strength.

And, I wonder, looking back on this week, how moments of life shape me and I don't even realize it. Some examples:

In the wine room a man came in and shared stories of his childhood raised on a farm and in the years of segregation. He told stories of movie theatres that separated black and white skin by seating and signs over water fountains. I grew up going to the same theatre. I grew up in the same town. I can't imagine what that would look like. Feel like. Sound like.
4 high school friends of mine have come to eat at Panera this week. We didn't get to talk much, but it made my heart happy.
Dad cleaned the house for Mom so that she didn't have to leave a "dirty house."
Moments of silence.
Moments of laughter.

Hearing the race cars practice while sharing life.

I can go on and on....and on. I wonder if you feel the same.

Lenting 9: 1 John

2011-03-22T03:23:00.002-07:00

Got to read 1 John with Mom and Dad this morning before leaving.

1 John 1:7 "But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, cleanses us from all sin."

Grace. Confession. Jesus. Light. Fellowship...with each other...with Mom and Dad.

Dear Jesus. Amen.

Lenting 7: Spring

2011-03-20T11:03:00.004-07:00

:) it's the first day of spring.

what's new? what's budding for you?

I can tell you a few of mine: friendships (from work, from church, from just being home). hopes (for today, for tomorrow). opportunities (a garden, possible trips and adventures, areas to serve).

i feel full of excitement and anticipation of each of these. sure, there will come a season of pruning and weeding. but now...now there is life. new life! my heart is thankful for that. my heart is thankful for the treasures that are present. treasures that are Beautiful now, and beautiful to see grow.

Lenting 6: Goodness

2011-03-16T18:23:00.005-07:00

I told a friend about my blog tonight. Dumb. Now I have to write something good.

True story. I had a bird poop on my head in the same week i stepped in dog poo. This was 2 weeks ago.

A lot has happened since then.

The story picks up today where I started the morning waking up to my first alarm in time to turn on coffee, proceeding to sleep through my second alarm. I am very thankful for parents who don't mind or notice when coffee gets bitter. oops.

Still got to have a few minutes with Jesus. Enough to read that God chooses us. Yea. Wow.

Got tired of my nose ring not healing. Took it out. Teared a little.

Dressed and ready for online learning at Panera. Today was a true test of Panini making knowledge. Outcome: Passed and earned a discounted muffin! Score.

Needed more time with Jesus. Learned in James 1 that God choses us and gives us wisdom. Don't need to believe otherwise. Why? Because we can have faith in our God who gives us everything we need for life and godliness. 2 Peter 1:3

Scooted over to the Speedway to meet Dustin for some lunch time hanging out. My face should hurt from all of the smiling and laughing. It doesn't, but it's amazing to me the topics of conversation that happen on a walk, or over a pb&j served with apple and carrots. Not to mention, the encouragement and joy. Oh strawberry preserve jam...thank You Jesus.

Headed home before a run. Re-entered the nose ring. My hole had already closed! Stream of tears. Nose ring in tact! I think I needed to take it out to see if I really wanted it. I do. It's settled.

Went to nap. Instead, chatted with a friend about life and Jesus. Yea, I just need to say our Father is aware of our needs. I'm thankful to come together with my friend, even miles away, and know our hearts are near as we ask Jesus to help us have faith.

Did lay my head down for 23 minutes. :)

Dressed for a run, and got called about settling a house sitting issue this summer i'm not able to do now with two jobs. Situation settled. Got to be excited about Karen's trip to Tanzania with her. I hope the other options for the pup goes well!

Ran 24ish minutes east and almost made it to downtown. Got tired. Saw two guys drinking a beer washing cars. Tempted to join them, but decided i'd better get home. Ran home one mile short of the needed training distance. Gosh, running is hard these days.

Ate a bit.

Washed.

Mom came home. We walked around the block, then played a game of cards. Mom is so fun! So beautiful. So great to share life closer with.

Met my friend Kristi for mexican. I soaked up the time with this beautiful friend. We've had many memories together. Thankful to make more tonight. I don't understand the goodness of God. But it's obvious in Kristi.

Like extra rest, and the humor of bitter coffee. Like Dustin. Like Panera Cafe Sandwich Knowledge. Like James. Like the ability to pray with Mom. Like seeing Dad able to shuffle dirt around in the yard. Like chatting thousands of miles away, hearts needing...hearts hoping. Like a smile from a stranger. Like being able to give thanks.

Lenting 5: Gardening.

2011-03-14T19:19:00.003-07:00

Today, Dad helped me till a garden area. It's approximately 12 x 15. Ground: fertile. Roots and rocks present: less than before today. Fun had: lots.

I can't control the excitement that I have right now. Seriously...so...excited!!!

There is a lot to gardening that enthralls me. Like, the fact that I just got to break up dirt!! Not just that, but this is where the produce will be (Lord willing) in a few months: right underneath my feet. And, oh the roots that are to be uprooted to provide good growing room!

Hands got dirty. SO good.

All of the posting I've been able to do is so late at night. As a result, the thoughts of growing, being broken up and letting to set until planting, and the hidden "treasures" found in the soil are each valuable thoughts I had personally today. However, they are FULL thoughts.

In brief, here is public wrestling of my thoughts. What kind of soil is reflective of my heart? Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23

I tend for a hard road...perhaps worn and beaten, over-traveled, not willing to give.

I tend for the rocky soil...letting in a little, but not much. Good, but not absorbent or deeply penetrable.

I tend for thorny soil...sharing the ground with weeds. It's all good, until it's time to bear fruit...negative.

I long for good soil. Absorbent, healthy, moldable.

Moldable.

Today, Dad helped me till a garden. Man, it was good.

Lenting 4: All I've Got...tired.

2011-03-13T21:47:00.003-07:00

Simply some questions that were asked today of me and I hope to reflect on tomorrow. And yes, they are rather complex, and will likely uproot my heart. Oh, lenting:

What is the kingdom of heaven?
Often times accountability is behavior correction. What would it look like to have accountability of our thoughts? Considering, that is what Jesus tended to focus more on.

Good night, Calli

Lenting 3: Healing

2011-03-11T21:35:00.002-07:00

A couple, few post back i gave an update on my move from the Springs to Concord. Needless to say, so much has happened!! So much...so much.

And honestly I feel as though i've had nothing to do with it, and every reason to say thank YOU. Some depth to that statement is this though. I hurt. I am healing.

What hurts?

Loss down right hurts. Losing the nearness and closeness of my friends geographically and relationally hurts. I miss my friends. I wish I could hug them, have dinner with them, and let them know how much they are loved. Many times (due to time or the ebb of life) i'm left only able to pray. Wow this breaks me to think it's enough.

My feet. God's blessed me with two jobs! Panera Bread offered me a job the same day the Wine Room asked for an interview. They both offered me a job where I serve all day. It's great. It's fun. I'm exhausted. My feet hurt. I'll do it again tomorrow.

Giving my heart (even if it is a little) and "things not working out." I quote because though those are my words...they aren't God's. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes." Romans 8:28.

Hurting. Maybe that's obvious, but I really mean I hate hurting others. Intentionally and unintentionally alike. I hurt feeling like I can't say the right things to my family without sounding judgemental or rude. I hurt after dropping salad dressing all over the cooler at work and knowing i'm not helping my team in doing so. It's a mistake, but I don't like messing up. Especially in a job that's not that difficult. On a positive note, the cooler did smell rather nice afterwards! :)

What heals?

Prayers. I don't know who you are praying for me, but God hears you.

Prayers. There is fear in the Lord. There is peace. There is comfort and safety in being with Him. There is joy and there is frustration as well. Being with God has made me weak, but strong. Weak in me. Strong in Him.

New and Old friendships here. I forget quickly that I am just meeting a few of the friends I have here. I'm so used to talking openly and freely with me friends from CO. Here I need more wisdom (maybe that would have been useful there :) ) and understanding to filter and to share.

Parents. Sure, yours could be considerably great too, but I really have to admit that I have amazing parents. I told dad that I felt bad because I have had MANY mood swings since being home. Not necessarily bad, but just obviously wrestling with a lot of stuff. Mom and Dad see it. Mom and Dad love me as though they didn't. They simply love.

Jesus. 4 years ago Jesus saved me. No lie, His wounds heal me today. Yours too. His sacrifice is real today in me.

Jesus, why do you care so stinking much?

Isaiah 53:4-5

Surely He took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered Him punished by God, stricken by Him, and afflicted. But He was pierced for our transgressions, crushed for our sins; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed.

Lenting 2: Isaiah 55

2011-03-10T09:03:00.003-07:00

Isaiah 55. Reflections.

I friend just sent me this passage to read. Thoughts:

I need to read this everyday for a while.

v1 - Are you thirsty? At first glance, maybe not. But as I kept reading I wanted Him to ask that question again so that I could change my answer.
v1 - milk or wine. It's okay to have a preference? Really?
Listen, hear and listen.
Trusting is necessary to believe You have the best in mind.
So inviting.
I need this invitation.

You are near. So near. Not forever, hence action needs to be taken now.

God help.

Your give mercy. Forgiveness...abundantly.

You're so good, so forgiving, so understanding, so inviting, so gracious. You're not understood. You are okay with that.

You don't waste like I do. I'm incapable of not wasting it seems.

God help.

You are purposeful in every crick and cranny.

Not only does Your creation go where You say, it's productive and You cause it to meet the needs of Your people.

Your Word, the same.

You mean what You say.

You mean Your invitation.

You offer.

Please don't give me an option of what to drink.

v13 feels like me. Glory, God.

Lent 1

2011-03-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

For lent I am hoping to blog once everyday until Easter. Gosh, I know in some ways what this means: sacrifice, time, thinking, trusting, and hoping.

Between now and Easter we reflect on Jesus' sacrifice. I confess, I don't think about Jesus' death every day. So, yes, I admit my thankfulness for tradition.

Currently I think more about friends, what to do, where to be, how to make panini's and martini's. Not Jesus. Hmmmm....

These coming days could bring a variety of subjects, or maybe a single topic. Above all else, I hope transparency and reflection. Joy and sincerity. Fun and depth as well.

...this seems so small an offering.

ramblings past 12

2011-02-25T23:24:00.003-07:00

it's really good to be home. life is pretty surreal at times. i'm often reminded of being in my home town, means i will run into people ALL the time that i know, might know, should know, or know of.

the "should know" is my favorite. :) for example, i went to school apparently with a gals daughter that i served at the wine shop. yea...i couldn't place her daughter. we both tried really hard. nope, didn't know her. and, still being asked if i'm still with "that boy" from high school. poor boy. he deserves to be known by much more. ha.

tonight just cracked me up when the musician playing started talking about a Bernie Edwards over the mic. no big deal, that's just my great uncle. i proceeded to hear about 5 stories about my uncle from a good 40 years ago. one being that a gentleman at the wine room actually became a teacher because of my Uncle's influence. Who is this family i belong to? Hmmm...

just some thoughts before bed. it's been a long time since i have seen 2am. suppose that is life when you work at a wine bar.

Faithfulness

2011-02-18T06:01:00.004-07:00

Our friend Leslie gave us a chair when my family lived at our last home. There is something about the low-sitting, simple pattern feel of this chair that's so fitting for our "little-sized" family. What a treasured gift.

Moving back to NC...i pause. I can't describe home, my heart, and this change right now with pin-point accuracy, but I do know that my heart is a melting pot of much joy, excitement, uncertainty, grief, and desires. Well, maybe that is pretty accurate! Temperature wise, I must say that it's hot and is stirred relatively often.

My dear Mom and Dad are AMAZING. I'm not sure why I've been given such fabulous parents that are patient, insightful, listeners, challengers, HILARIOUS, and give give give their love, but I have them. Thanks, God. I think my parents are a great reflection of God's stability. Even though personally my heart fills like a hot potato, Mom and Dad are present, love me and desire good for me. God too.

Faithfulness has been running through my mind a lot. God's faithfulness and my faithfulness to Him. I shall note that mine's a little flimsy. Faithfulness doesn't feel very attainable, but complaining at least brings some relief...right? I sit here to confess NO. I'm a fool to think, and forgiven to, by grace, remember my Father's faithfulness to me.

I'm such a sucker for Christian Radio. Such a fan of both "cool" and "uncool" christian contemporary (which in some cases should not be considered so) music! Who cares if the message is obvious and the same phrase is said over again to annoyance. It's good true stuff, and I dig it. Not to mention play it loud. (and side tracking)

94.1 K love is my station here...well along with others. Yesterday morning there was a whole morning just talking about God's faithfulness, and this morning I spent time reading these blogs full of God's people knowing and experiencing God in His faithfulness.

Lisa and Eric's blog on faithfulness

In a response, I'd like to do the same. And I want to celebrate and thank God for His faithfulness to you too.

The Lord has given me breath, life, a wonderful family to live with and among, health, and food to have and share.
Jesus has been patient to bring understanding, help, grace, and peace each day. Spending time with my Savior has made such a difference in having strength to take on each day. I've missed mornings with my Jesus, and am so thankful to have them in this season of life.
Laughs. Friends who make me. Stories that well them up from deep within. God, thank You for such an amazing gift that heals and mends.
One job and maybe two in a weeks time. Not to mention, two jobs that really have edged their way into my "dream job" list. I'm a huge Panera fan, and yesterday was my first day behind the counter as an employee. What a blessed girl I am. And, I am also so intrigued by vineyards and wine. Today I have the opportunity to speak with a local restaurant about serving wine and food for them. I know that I cannot judge a book by it's cover, but I am simply honored how thoughtful God is.
I didn't know I needed to have a retired Dad at home to keep my spare time company, but I have so needed to get to know and spend time with my Daddy. There are so many qualities in my Dad I admire. Now that he's retired, he's like a whole new man too! Thank You Father for being faithful in ways I didn't know I needed You to be.

Just reflecting, thinking, and thanking simmers my heart. Thanks again, Jesus.

summer...in brief

2010-08-22T12:47:00.007-07:00

1. Getting to see these beautiful girls take on life, be challenge, and grow in their knowledge and love of Jesus! I love, love these girls.

2. Going camping with these girls has changed my life forever! I have never laughed so hard in my life. And...not to mention these girls put on their own talent show. I'm convinced these girls will rock this world.

3. Mission of Mercy has been so good to work at. For many reasons, but really, it's unbelievable the encouragement you receive by working with a team that's seeking the same goal. Oh, wonderful team and friends celebrating our friend Charlotte leaving for Swaziland.

4. Dancing, dancing, dancing. My dear and hilarious friend Riccara had a birthday ball! Yes, amazing. As you can see, the princess herself is in the middle. She's such a blast to celebrate, and oh how i have missed being on the dance floor with friends.

(Meredith, Rudy, Ricci, Raleigh, Me)

5. Friends, fires, and freezing rain. Honestly this was one of my most memorable 4th of July's. Laura, Jamie, Steve, and I went to Rampart Reservior to celebrate freedom :). We did. And before we could finish our first smore the hail started to come, went down my britches mind you, and called our celebrating an early quits. None the less...so fun. So rich.
6. And....because Tyra (right of guitar) and Crystal (holding guitar) are gifted in getting tickets on the radio, we may have seen GooGoo Dolls and Switchfoot in concert. And may have met them before the show. This was soooooo fun. So fun. Switchfoot is a really sweet band. The guy with the glasses in his shirt, John, played the guitar with his teeth. Yep. He did.
7. Hahahaha. Tinabell!! This should really be closer to the top since Kristina came the 26th of June. At the top of pike's peak we were getting snowed on! Ha. We got to make lots of memories. Midnight bikeride. Drove through the mountains. Laughed. Got coffee. Ect...ect.

There is really so much to say, but I am blessed to have a friend in this girl.

Marathoned

2010-06-08T20:48:00.007-07:00

The funny part about posting this is that i haven't documented a lick of the process. This past Sunday, I along with my friends Ashley and Coryn (see below) crossed the finish line at 4 hours and 30 minutes. Training was full of ups and downs. Literally with the terrain, and also in all the other aspects. It's amazing the physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual struggle and growth that takes place. Having a "team" which we respectfully called ourselves "Brooks Babes" was key. (we all wear brooks :) ). I needed the accountability and support. However, the laughs and convo's on the long runs were invaluable.

We also worked on celebrating, by at least once a month having a Sunday cookout/hangout time! Got to celebrate...got to!

AND... the parentals came along with my Aunt Donna! Poor, Aunt Donna. I'm pretty sure that everyone thinks that her name is "Auntdonna" that i introduced her to. One word. Auntdonna.

We went up the Peak and visited Garden of the gods before heading to steamboat.

Once we got to steamboat, the fam went on a hike while i did some last minute prep for the run:

Oh it made me sooooo happy to have them here: the fam along with my friend, Riccara, who received the full Edwards experience...gas and all. Even in CO there was a lot of front porch sittin' at the Hotel Bristol, which was only 3 blocks from the finish.

And the race...oh the race. It was beautiful! The course was pretty hilly which made for a sore yesterday and today, but every step was worth it. There is a sweetness in crossing the finish line that really can't be understood unless you experience it.

Some people say that you "get the marathon bug." I wouldn't argue it. Today i couldn't even rest my legs another day. I wanted to get out on trail again.

I think what might be hard for me to ever let go are the times of just being away, running, and thinking. Without trying to put expectations on what happens when i run, i can't help but to say that I am a different Calli than i was before i started this training.

call me a dork, but when i saw this picture below i thought, "yea, this is me." running does bring a smile to my face. a friend, charlotte, asked me at work, "how do you do it?" i told her after thinking on it, "one step at a time i guess." i've felt purged in this training. sometimes thinking of running another mile seems impossible; like there is nothing left in me. sometimes all i have is one step to give. it's amazing to find yourself 26.2 miles later at the finish.

regardless of what the racing future holds, i hope i can remember that truth as i move forward in life. i also hope that i remember to celebrate well too.

instead of having to take an ice bath, which i avoided the whole training, i told ash and coryn i'd get in the river with them. pure snow melt! so cold.

deep breath

2010-05-30T22:02:00.003-07:00

so in the midst of some of the "ick" that it seems i've been posting, it seems fair and good to reflect on the sweetness of life.

today makes that pretty easy.

it's not very often that many of the people that mean so much to me i am able to see in one day. i wouldn't want everyday to be this way simply because that means i'd never really share life in a deeper and fuller way. but seems as if today was a reminder of how God's goodness is now in my life.

here are some of the things and people i am thankful for:

i'm thankful to have a church family that i can grow and change with, be challenged with, and know Jesus more with.
i'm thankful for amazing places to hike (4 hikes in 3 days so far this weekend. thank you, Jesus.)
i'm thankful to get a phone call from my brother. i love his boyish laugh.
i'm thankful to be able to watch, love, and share life with the middle boys and girls at vanguard. they are so gifted and so precious. God has amazing plans for them.
i'm thankful that ashley, coryn, and i are 1 week away from running the steamboat marathon.
i'm thankful for a God that has given His Son out of His ridiculous love for my sins. And not just that, but gives me the grace to continue to know Him...
i'm thankful for a mom and dad who love each other.
i'm thankful for discount grocery stores.
and, i'm thankful for great examples of people of faith, integrity and hope in my life.
4 bean sprouts and 3 given tomato plants...thank You.
memories with friends...thank You.
having memorial day off...thank You.
celebrating friends graduating...thank You.
freedom...thank You.
lastly, considering it's getting late, i'm thankful for rest.

thoughts to end the day

2010-05-26T20:57:00.003-07:00

it's really a treat that God gives us a memory, you know?

think about all the times that you laugh thinking about those times that made you laugh. and those times that you almost got lost, but then...at the split second before you turned around...you remembered that tacky mail box you hooked a left at last year.

see. two small examples.

i don't know what it is with me right now, but i've been so reflective lately. it's rather odd and actually uncomfortable. at some point or another i figure i just might have to do something with these thoughts. honestly, this "reflective" season has brought to mind some tough truths and tendencies in my life that i don't like.

you ever come home to just home? i get that living alone is not a rare thing, but for me it is. i've pretty much lived by myself for a month between house sitting and my new roommate being away. overall, i haven't really minded it, but it's a lot less comfortable. you might be like, "hold up, what?!"

it's true. i don't have to deal with me that much when someone else is around.

i've been challenged lately about the way i live, who i am living for, and what it looks like, by the way i live, matters. just light topics, really...gees.

the hard part for me is this: how do i deal/wrestle/work out these things (for lack of a better word) effectively and still embrace life and the relationships around me well?

going back to the whole memory thing, i really am amazed at how God uses it to both help us see the good and bad habits of our lives, as well as show us his faithfulness.

3 and a half years ago Jesus saved me. i became different.
a little under 3 years ago roots began to grow in co. i had changed.
a year and four days ago i graduated college. again, a much different person.
the thunderbirds flew today at the airforce graduation. as soon as i saw them, i remembered where i was watching them last year. boy, this girl is not that girl.

over the course of a week to months, it's hard to see change sometimes. it's hard to see why it would be worth it to lean into these challenging thoughts. but here is my closing story, mostly so i can remember:

one late fall morning i got up and decided on a run. so i hit the road that led to the trail down by the waterway. i remember running towards the sunrise; away from the mountains. the sun was bright and air crispy cool. i began to feel tired and i looked down to the ground. lo-and-behold i saw a BudLight bottle cap on the ground. instantly i stopped and just looked at it. and it was so crazy, but it wasn't until THAT moment that i saw the cap that i realized it had snowed the night before. shocking, i know!
somewhere in the following seconds i felt deeply in my heart that God reminded me, "See, i'm at work even when you have no idea." yea, i just stood there for a while, and even decided to keep the bottle cap afterwards.

God, help me remember Your faithfulness. Jesus, please help me have faith.

here.

2010-05-16T20:20:00.002-07:00

there are a lot of places to live in this world. because it's my job, i read letters from all over everyday. i'm amazed at the appreciation that people have for the beauty of where they live:

"the mountains here are so beautiful."

"we live in texas where it is hot and humid, but we are thankful for the home we have."

"here in south dakota it's mostly flat and we get lots of snow...but we like the peace and quiet."

"here in pennsylvania we have four seasons."

it's neat to reflect on these things. my parents were sitting on the front porch of their beach home earlier today just soaking in the "sweetness" or goodness of where they were. I couldn't figure out if dad saying, "i'm leaving home to go to work", or mom's, "we're just sitting here as the wind chims silently jingle" was the most entertaining statement made.

right before i chatted with the hopefully-nearly retired couple, i had just stepped outside and thought, "gah, i love the quietness of colorado." i do. i'm so thankful. my heart is glad here. my mind is a peace and stiller in those moments. i feel like this is good for me in life.

this afternoon i also broke up the ground and began to plant some veggies. the dirt was cool and soft under my feet. this brought a smile on my face too.

i forget these little treasures that God provides. they're more abundant than I know or care to recognize.

Processing

2010-05-13T21:29:00.003-07:00

i was on the way home tonight after hanging out with some sweet friends, and this verse came to mind:
John 16:33: "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."

So now, after looking at this verse, I think...that's funny. Courage is the last thing I take, or even want to take. I take fear. I take revenge. I take another bite of homemade granola. I take a friend who is safe and go have dinner. I take a "better" perspective. I take whatever stops the hurt.

Truth is, I take the options that puts on the "i'm courageously dealing with this and i'm over it" cover instead of courage. Courage in this verse means to be of good cheer, or of good comfort. Really?

There is a family at our church that just lost a husband and a father. This brings lots of questions to my mind. I've had some very distant moments with God today just trying to process who He is and what He thinks He is doing. Even though I only know this family a little, I can't stand to watch or see the affects of this loss.

I don't understand. I am not sure if I ever will. My heart is heavy for this family and I know they need the comfort that only God can give them and would be foolish to think otherwise.

But personally, this comfort is hard to receive for myself. In my mind and heart I know and believe that God is so loving, fair, just. However, when I feel the way I feel right now, it's hard to choose courage, or cheerfulness, or comfort. When I see God's decision in some things I'm not sure if being comforted by Him is my first choice.

It's a grinding process to deal with these things, regardless of how directly or indirectly they are. It makes me think of how amplified this must be for Jeni and her children. Jesus, we need You.

spring change

2010-04-23T19:22:00.003-07:00

tomorrow morning i am helping raleigh move out and into her new home for the next coming months. i haven't really wanted to think about it. up to this point i know in my heart that this is a good move for our friendship and our personal lives. but that's it.

for the sake of not putting any words in raleigh's mouth, i'll keep this post reflective of my own heart. it's good for me to do this anyways. i'm hoping at least.

i am really looking forward to what is ahead in a lot of ways. my new roommate, and friend of a couple years i believe, rachel lake is moving into 314 with me. it excites me to think how timely raleigh's leaving is in conjunction with rachel looking for a place to stay, and even someone to live with...i'm glad it's me.

there is a mix of excitement and apprehension, joy and grief, and also the deep "i don't know" about change. personally i think rather highly of myself as a roommate. (raleigh's point of view not included :) ). i offer laughter, deep conversation if desired, a habit of stress relieving by dish washing, and i'm always up for a hug....bring it on.

i think what makes me most nervous about sharing house and home with someone is the messiness that i feel i often have trouble keeping contained. i don't mean clothes or dragging in the days dirt on my shoes, but more so the "mess" of my life. as much as i hate to admit it, i am still trying to figure out who i am in a lot of ways. and in the midst of that, getting to know Jesus, and how to live life fully in the relationships He has placed in my life. (sounds so messy i'm not sure that makes sense.)

reality is, i don't want rachel or anyone to see me vulnerable, uncertain at times, and witness the mistakes that i make. i'm prideful and insecure. loneliness and receiving a negative perception from someone are my greatest fears. this is a daily fight for me.

i fight daily to remember my acceptance and approval from God. i fight daily to remember Jesus' love for me.

truth is, God is faithful always. everyday. everyday.

there is a sara groves song, "every minute," that states these words:

cause if you sit at home you are a loser

couldn't you find anything better to do?

well, no, i couldn't think of one thing

i'd rather waste my time on than sitting here with you

at the risk of wearing out my welcome
at the risk of self discovery
i'll take every moment
and every minute that you give me...

i came across these words this past week and my heart aches to be here. this is also a massive fight against my flesh and the habits of my 22 years of life.

mess.

in the midst of this, God has placed friends in my life that i watch pursue knowing Him. these friends are changed and are being changed. and there is a sweetness in that.

sometimes the messiness of my life makes it hard to think i'm knowing Jesus more. that is a lie...one of my friends told me that.

well, all i can say is, here we go...and i'm actually excited at this point. which seems like that makes sense. :)

Father, thank You for letting me live with Raleigh. And, thank You that you are letting me live with Rachel...and her fluffy, sweet dog Molly. You are always with us, and You love us.

2010-04-16T20:52:00.002-07:00

i'm lost without You. give me a map to the
desert and watch me seek a fountain.
searching. seeing. finding grains upon sand
and dying.

deserted.

why would You have been
there? the heat was having a field day,
but You hadn't noticed. at least
You could have fooled me.

You wanted to walk and Your
still here.

found.

10 cents...

2010-03-29T21:30:00.003-07:00

I have never wanted 10 cents more in my life than today.

Today has been a fabulous days. Seriously.

Great nights sleep. Great 10 + hours of work. Ride home to an overcast sky and a chat with the parentals. And a quick change into the walk attire. Then...

So I went on this walk. At first it was mostly for cross-training, but then I found the exercise was more for my mind than my legs. God bless those poor limbs.

Picture this: I'm trekking mildly fast up the last street of the evening. I see a boy (let's call him Skippy), say 6 or 7, barefoot and calling across the street to some hardly interested scooter and bike riding 8 or 9 year old's. Possibly perceived as cooler than the younger lad. Skippy eventually took his attention off of the other boys and skips back and forth a couple of times, THEN starts skipping to me. The conversation proceeds as follows:

Skippy: "Hi."
Me: "Hi."
Skippy: "Do you have 10 cents?"
Me: ooo. I'm thinking that would be hard to find. (Searching my pockets.)
Skippy: "Oh, because if you had 10 cents or even a dollar I can sing you a song."
(I look at the boy. I wait patiently for him to say "ha, just kidding." Skippy keeps slowly skipping beside of me and starts to look a little sad.)
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't have anything for you. But I can listen. (Lame response to sad Skippy.)
Skippy: Sorry. I can't sing for you for less than 10 cents.
Me: Oh, sad. (Sounding in unbelief. Because I was.) I really don't have 10 cents. (Frantically searching all corners of my pocket at this point. Straight empty.)
Skippy: Never mind, and my songs are my own songs and no one else has them.
(Totally dissed at this point, my jaw drops and I walk off. Skippy skips the other direction towards the now slightly interested boys.)

As soon as a walk off I hear Skippy talking with the scooter and bike boys:
Scooter Boy: "We really don't have 10 cents."
Skippy: "Are you serious? You mean you don't get allowance?!"

Now, I'm not sure of all that happens within the next 20 yards that I slowly make my way home, but the last I could hear - Skippy was singing. That made me happy and quite convinced Skippy's boldness is stellar.

I just remember thinking over and over. "Really? That just happened?"

It did. And, lesson learned. Always carry 10 cents.

trailing thoughts...and a new job

2010-02-19T17:56:00.004-07:00

You ever have those moments that you want to remember more often? Moments that remind you to appreciate, or how much you are thankful, or the gift of being forgiven, or how good it is to laugh.

I lack in remembering. Never in my life would I have thought that I would say this, "but it is so nice to be at home...even if I am alone." Ahhh. Home.

Snow is slowly covering the streets just like it's covered lots of other homes and bushes. It seems like if I took time like this more often, it would help me to appreciate the gift of life more. Appreciate how nice it is to have a warm home (granted, I understand warm is relative), and just think. Think or not think. Ha.

I need to and want to think. This past Monday I put in my two-week notice at work. This has been so hard for me to grasp. Why am I leaving? What was the purpose of the 15 months that I was at TSM with Jon? God, why are you moving me to a different job? Why do I feel sad? Is it okay that I feel sad and excited, and nervous, and fear?

I know that I shouldn't fear. I know that "God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind." (2 Tim. 1:7) I get that. So my hope is that God will help remove my fear. The fear that makes me scared of failure, scared of new things, scared of commitment, scared of new relationships that will allow people to know me, and scared of not knowing what this new job will look like. I need God's love and grace in my life. I need Him in His fullness to fill me (Eph 1:23). Because He is love (1 John 4:8,16). And Perfect love cast out all fear (1 John 4:18).

I have to connect the dots and remember His promises. Like I said I am so forgetful. I'll forget before I finish this post.

The reality is that I can hardly believe that I have this opportunity. I'll be working with a child sponsorship organization called Mission of Mercy, a part of a team that helps with the communication between the child and the sponsor. What a treat. Wow. Seriously wow.

When I went on my interview there were packages from other countries holding letters from children. Wow. Wow. God, You are so amazing. I can't wrap my mind around His love for us.

Wintry NC!

2010-02-17T21:21:00.004-07:00

Snow is headed in through Sunday. Maybe some snow cream this go-round!

Thought some pics of the snowy beach that were taken by Madre and Padre:

That snow man is hilarious. :)

Holla Holla

2010-02-06T07:48:00.002-07:00

Yesterday was Madre's birthday. She's a lot of fun to celebrate. I told her that I celebrated her by pulling out a meatloaf she had made and dad smuggled into Colorado out of the freezer. So good. I mean SO GOOD. Seriously, anyone who reads this, never - repeat NEVER- expect me to cook like my mother. There are some things that are just impossible in this world and that is one of them. I know Christ can give me strength, but in my weakness...yikes! Praise God for my mother and who she is.

Presently I am training for the Ft. Collins Marathon, May 9. Boy o'boy. It's been a real treat to train. Really. Unfortunately due to cold weather and working a "big girl" job I've been running mostly on the treadmill (treddy, as I like to call 'em). But today, outside I adventure. 12 miles on the ole' Sante Fe trail. Rumor has it, the trail reaches to the tip of the connected US into Canada all the way down through NM. I'm not up for testing the rumor, but i'm sure you can google it! :)

Lastly, have you ever read Ezekiel? CRAZY STUFF! I think I would have really admired Ezekiel or thought he was crazy. I feel others would agree. However, as I read all the things that God has him do I just want to hug the guy. I mean Ezekiel had to dig through a wall like an exile, bake his bread over poo, and see his wife die and not mourn about it. I don't know...but I read this today:

Ezekiel 37:24-25

My servant David will be king over them, and they will all have one shepherd; and they will walk in My ordinances and keep My statutes and observe them.

They will live on the land that I gave to Jacob My servant, in which your fathers lived; and their sons' sons, forever and David My servant will be their prince forever.

This made my heart leap in expectation for Jesus. I know that we live post Jesus coming and dying on the cross for us, but WOW. One Shepherd to come and be our King.

God goes on to say through Ezekiel in verse 27 that, "My dwelling place will also be with them; and I will be their God, and they will be My people." I like that He straight up calls us His. We are His and because of Jesus...Immanuel...God with us...we have a Prince that paid the price for us to be with God forever.

I'm glad Ezekiel did and said what he did. He had some good news to share for sure.

Happy Feb 6.

celebrating. home.

2010-01-03T07:33:00.003-07:00

Today is my first full day back in CO in 2010. It's nice to be back. I am celebrating this morning though. A glass of funky tasting milk, half a grapefruit and a banana. Funky tasting things don't bother me mostly, or at least they won't keep me from celebrating.

I called mom in the Springs Airport. Her first words were, "Are you home?!" For the life of me I don't know where those words came from. I think of those this morning as I celebrate.

You like blue grass? I sure do. There's not a lot of things that twang to the melody of my soul like blue grass. Have you ever heard Moses' words to a bluegrass tune? It's a treat. You won't regret having heard it...especially when you celebrate.

Home is where the heart is you know? I'm coming to believe that more and more.

Waking up to Mom and Dad stirring grits and frying bacon. My heart is there. I'm at home.
Coffee cup in hand and talking life with my cousin Lisa. My heart is there. I'm at home.
Driving Interstate 85 eastbound to Goldsboro, NC watching the sun fill the trees barren branches. My heart is there. I'm at home.

When I get to look into my Gramma Edith eyes as she searches my familiar face telling me she loves me before she says it. My heart is with her. I'm at home.
Getting to see the smiles on the faces of my friend as they lift their little girls with their loving arms to feed them. My heart is with them. I'm at home.

Running on the treadmill I think of my Gottshchalk family, or friends heading to other countries and in other states. My heart is with them. I am at home.
As the frosted ground this morning shows it's face and I think of tonight spending time with the Tillman family before a week full of work. My heart is here. I'm at home.

I am at home on the journey home I suppose.

I have so much to celebrate. My time in NC has been FULL and beautiful. I am encouraged and loved by so many encouraging and loving people. I must celebrate the lives, friendships, and family that surrounds me. I cheers my funky milk. I'm thankful.

cool

2009-10-13T08:48:00.001-07:00

it's 1 degree warmer in antarctica right now than c.springs. Sweet!

granted, it is snowing down there. just foggy here!

8.28.09 yikes.

2009-08-28T06:18:00.003-07:00

just to let you know. I love you and am thinking about you.

you, fam. you, friends. golly, i am thankful to share life with you. it's like i wish that we can all meet in the middle somewhere and just celebrate for a week. be refreshed in being with those who love and know us.

some things of note i'd like to share briefly before work:

NC rocked! period. i'm so thankful for my friends and family who graciously let me slip into their life for a few days. elaboration soon.
nights are cold here. seriously, i'm sleeping under 3-4 layers...including a down comforter. i'm such a wimp.
i have only 3 days left on staff at vanguard church. after agreeing to a year commitment it seems good to step down from my position and i'm thankful to be able to train Mark these past few weeks. it's a good excuse to get to have dinner with his fam. his wife patti makes bangin' bread!!
currently, i am still processing mortgage loans! refinance...purchase anyone??! serious.
i have had a compassion kid for i think over a year now and i got wonderful news yesterday: HE IS GOING TO COLLEGE!! Isn't that wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus! He lives in Kenya and will be going to school to be a civil engineer. Whooo. I'm so proud of Samuel's hard work and thankful that God sees that and is rewarding him.
Life is much different and I covet your prayers. I struggle with believing that this will be a good season of life. I struggle with not having joy. It is not fun for me to trust that God will provide a job come Dec. (will have to be a later post) Sometimes things like this can fill my thoughts. There is so much to celebrate and be thankful for in my life, and i don't want to lose sight of that in this new season.

Okay. Late for work. And again, thank you for your love and support. Those near and far. You bless me.

pre nc chat

2009-07-26T14:28:00.003-07:00

my roommate's cat just walked across my computer. her name is Bea. she is pretty tech savvy considering anything that i do on the inet is currently full screen.

as you may, or may not have noticed, i've taken a sabatical from writing. i have just tired of talking about the details of my life for the most part. granite, it's not that easy - especially when there are a lot more unknowns than knowns it seems.

in 3 days i travel to nc for a 2 week visit that i am looking forward to. there are only a few things that i have in mind:

spending time with the mom's and pop's
seeing friends
going golfing with uncle bill
eating fish with uncle bill
visiting some new mom's that i graduated with...crazy
having a cookout with fam
going to the beach
seeing leslie, lana and kyle at the beach
going to a fiddler convention in VA
seeing gramma edith
visiting wilmington
getting homemade peach ice cream on HWY 74!!
Eating biscuit's and gravy
steak and shake

just a few things.

the reality is that it is okay if none of those happen or if all of them do (and obviously anything in between). i just am hoping for a good time to get to spend time with people that mean a lot to me that i hardly see.

a couple of weeks ago i got the post graduation fear syndrom. PGFS consist of symptoms such as heavy breathing, lack of being able to process thoughts, fickle decision making, and the horrific habit of busying life to capacity in order to avoid accepting reality.

Reality = being fully responsible for bills, jobs, and everything in between. long story short, not so easy to accept...at least not for me.

the past couple of weeks have been full of wrestling with "what to do next" and "okay, so how do i pay the bills." as i attempted to give God plenty of great ideas for my future, i became anxious and nervous and fearful. being unsettled and unsure. great combination.

then in the fullness of His grace He reminded me that all my worry is a waste. all of it. nothing is bigger than my God. not a budget, not a car that needs maintenance, not a relationship. nothing at all. matthew 19:26 says, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

that's true. even if it is hard to believe, it is true. as i get ready to head home, it is with more peace than i would have ever expected 2 weeks ago...

So you again, may or may not, want an update. Well, as much as I don't many details, I plan to stay here in CO for now and until at least the end of this year. Not that I am really thinking of moving anywhere, but potentially come Sep. my job as a loan processor will continue to exist! Also as of Sep. my position as the Director of Elementary at Vanguard will end with my 1 year commitment.

I do hope to grow and continue to build relationships here, while trying to care and love those in NC. (though not always good at these.)

Well...off to NC.

5.27.09 - This post needs pics!!

2009-05-27T22:18:00.005-07:00

This day has been quite fabulous. In reverse:

There is a moth frantically flying around in the lamp next to me. Yikes.

I am currently watching Disney's The Kid at 11:20 pm. Why?...because it cost me $16 to rent it for church. Though I am enjoying it because it is a love story and Bruce Willis is an all time fav, this will certainly teach me to return movies on their due dates!!

The kiddos at church ROCK! The 4th and 5th graders under great leadership have totally used their creative gifts to paint much of the VBB decor!

Run on a warm spring afternoon as the sun began to set.

VBB planning. God is so good to provide.

Boston Christopher Vincent visit. Matt and Tricia's second and most recent addition to the Vincent fam. Tricia is also a quality George Strait fan along with being a mother of 2 now! Quality.

A work day that consisted of a 5 minute break to watch the Thunderbirds for the Airforce graduation. Wow. (I'll have to post pics of this for sure!)

Wonderful P-team meeting! I can't believe the ladies that i get to sit at the table with every week. This week they gave me a graduation gift...any guesses?? hint..think country! I'll just spill: A CAST IRON PAN! This blessed my socks off. Seasoning instructions were included i think. No worries ma.

Morning at home. Couch. Coffee. More coffee. Jesus.

Guess who was in town??!!?

2009-05-25T19:24:00.004-07:00

That's right!! The Edwards themselves!
Dad, Mom, Devin and Angela all decided to "fly the bird" (as Devin says) and come out to celebrate graduation with me.

Even though there really was lots to celebrate! Shall we elaborate?

1- Livermush! The real breakfast of champions and God's gift to the North Carolina Native!

2- Dad and Mom flew in on their 26th Wedding Anniversary! WOoo!...we could stop there I think. But let's continue...

3- We got to see a red fox on Pike's Peak...he looked hungry and kept staring a Devin!!

4- It rained the whole time almost, but at 9,000 feet we drove through sleet which Mom sure thought was fun!

5- Devin let his hair down!! Whoop whoop! Sure was a special night...

...you guys remember the "undertaker?"

6- It was so wonderful to have the fam here for graduation!

Degree is a B.S. in Business Marketing. Somewhat surreal and fancy sounding.

I sure love my fam. We had a great time going to dinner, visiting hot springs, riding up 13 out of the 19 miles of Pike's Peak (it was snowing on top), cooking out, and just being together. It is really neat to do site seeing and visiting places that we have never been before. I do still look forward to being able to spend time in NC with them soon again.

My roommate Raleigh graduated also as a Master in Sports Medicine. Her attire: a hooded gown and matching cap, a white rose for rememberance, an award which she humbly accepted for the most outstanding sports medicine student, and a smile to top off the excitement of graduating!! I'm so proud of her.

2009-05-11T17:11:00.002-07:00

Hi all.

I had a post in mind this afternoon. It'll have to wait.

There was a 5th grader at my church who decided to email me a youtube video. It's a video about a professor at USC whose life was changed at the drop of a peice of chalk. The link is below.

Chain letters aren't really my thing. Whatever it is, i'll read it, but I'm not up to send an email to 10 people to "see what happens." Honestly, that kind of makes me nervous. And I justify that my life is exciting enough to defer.

As a watched this video, I was blessed by the faith of this young girl. She received the email from her friend...who is the same age!! I love this. I love the thought of these young girls talking about Jesus and encouraging each other to faith and love.

So I watched the video (which you may watch), and tried to imagine myself with such courage and faith as that boy. Surely I would stand up! Right?! Then I began to read the comments. First, I was shocked. Then really shocked.

Then, I thought, "They are talking about God like that! The very God that I believe in and talk to. My friend and Savior." Man, that's not okay.

In the email, the girls were saying that you should watch this because it makes you think. It really has caused me to. God does not need to me to help defend Him. But i think that it is a very real question to ask, "Will i stand up for who I believe in?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piuoGb-Nhfw

2009-05-01T12:14:00.000-07:00

marshmallows should be a dairy product.

Easter thoughts

2009-04-10T14:09:00.003-07:00

As you drive west on Austin Bluffs Avenue there comes a point where bluffs and buildings and bridges cease; there you are over taken with a clear view of the rocky mountains. It's in that moment I attempt to take it all in that those mountains are HUGE! Key word attempt.

This morning was unexpectedly cloudy. I couldn't even see the mountains from my house, which is the norm. Kind of wanted a morning out on my own, time to be with just me and my coffee and think or not think.

I was thinking about today, Friday. Good Friday. Somewhere around 1,977 years ago Jesus was dying on the cross. I was just thinking about that. Not knowing how to think best, I just decided to read a little bit about Jesus' last days. He told lots of stories about heaven, about the costs of being a disciple, about faith and prayer.

It was like a got caught up in His life and was in this story with Him, watching Him heal and speak, and tell the Pharisee's and Sadducee's what's up. He's amazing. I felt there. His words convicted my heart as He spoke to those around Him, His compassion and love, His justice and truth. He brings hope.

Even though i'm not sure the point to all those words, I held onto that time as I left the coffee shop. I felt warm and moved and started driving home under a cloudy sky headed west on Austin Bluffs Avenue to some tunes . Know where this is going?

So I get to "that spot" and look out to where the mountains had been covered this morning and even though I cannot see the mountain peaks the sun is shining is the west and onto the Garden of the gods. What your supposed to think in that moment, i don't know. But the thought that came to mind is "the sun is rising soon." Thank you Jesus! Oh Easter.

What a wonderful time to think about Jesus. Who He is. Though I am not going to be home in NC for Easter, my friends and family have been near my heart.

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter weekend.

Spring '09

2009-03-25T18:57:00.004-07:00

Nights alone here at 314 are few and far between. They're always odd in the beginning as I find myself at home making the only noise of the house minus the occasional gust of the wind. I tend to scurry around cleaning things i've never cleaned, listen to random cd's, kick around a ball outside (which is mildly entertaining compared to all those years of having a "pitch back" when I played by myself), and the like.

It's not so bad though after being settled in. I remember one night last Spring being alone, drinking hot chocolate, and just thinkin' and readin'. Wonderful night.

Tonight as I eat dinner, blog and reminisce it's hard to avoid the season of Spring and of "birth" that is easing it's way in. When two friends have babies on the same night i'd say Spring has sprung.

The Birgy's are a family that I have babysat for a few times and know through church. They have a little boy, Abram Daniel, to add to the family of 3 girls.

I love how one of the first questions that came out of Celia's mouth was, "Mommy you think that you will have another baby," less than 24 hours after giving birth. We all laughed.

Also, I noticed some green around the yard. And maybe some blooming on the crab apple.

Mom said it was getting green in NC. That's exciting!

I look forward to seeing Dad, Mom, Devin and Angela when they come out for graduation at the end of May. Really, really look forward to seeing them.

Tonight I was microwaving nachos and my tomatoes caught on fire. Can you believe that?

Mom emailed me a couple weeks ago and told me that I should wear more makeup. I discovered today that she keeps having dreams that I am getting married.

We are possibly getting a foot of snow over the next couple days. Any ideas for snowmen? I'm thinking a surfer snowman would be fun.

Easter Sunday is coming soon. Wow. 2.25 weeks.

Shout..sing...dance

2009-03-06T10:45:00.002-07:00

when i think about the Lord

how He saved, how He raised me

how He filled me with the Holy Ghost

how He healed me to the uttermost

when i think about the Lord

how he picked me up

turned me around

how He set my feeton solid ground

it makes me want to shout

hallelujah!

thank you, Jesus!

Lord, you're worthy

of all the glory,

and all the honor

and all the praise!

Hallelujah!

thank you, Jesus!

Lord, you're worthy

of all the glory,

and all the honor

and all the praise!

(ephesians 2:4-7, 2 corinthians 5:17)

-shane and shane

Ummm...hi

2009-01-25T19:24:00.006-07:00

There is hardly an easy way to begin after a month+ separation from the world of blogging and faithful readers. In attempts to ignore all awkwardness i opt to plunge right in. Bare with.

Time in NC was amazing. Hardly anything was like I thought it would be; but perfect. This time, more than any time back, I was able to spend time with Dad and Mom...and Devin for that matter. Then the day before Christmas Gramma Edith ended up staying with us for a few days. Some of my favorite sayings from her:

Mom: Tomorrow morning we are going to get up and play dress up. But Gramma, you don't need to. You are already pretty.

Gramma: I know. What is wrong with me?

She couldn't see me putting salt on her food. I asked her if that is enough.

Gramma: You didn't even put anything on there. I wouldn't do nobody that'a way.

Gramma: I love you. You are so pretty. Oh, thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus.

Along with great family, was time spent with great friends. A highlight was one day in Asheville, NC, where my friend Amanda met up with me and my friend Kristina for a day going down the Blue Ridge Parkway, going to the Grove Inn (to see gingerbread house contest results), and lunch. I can't tell you how much that time was both refreshing and laughter filled. Oh boy...how funny.

After home, was CO for a day to get packed again before heading to Galveston, TX. Here we...

...spent about 9 days cooking food and doing home repairs for those who needed due to the destruction that Hurricane Ike did this past September. It's hard to know where to start, but here are a few pictures in attempts to share.

These are from the first house we were at. The Garcia's had been doing prison ministry in this home for 30 years. Living and raising a family in it for more. Mr. Garcia is in early-middle stages of alsheimer disease now. Inside their house, they received over 2 foot of water in the second floor. Even though the outside of the house looks somewhat okay, there was mold damage in most of it. If you piled debris within 6 ft. of the side of the street the city would pick it up for free. Even that was certainly a blessing for these families.

Even Home Depot hasn't repaired their damage.

Will and Matt moving sheet rock.

And then, a couple weeks ago Leslie came to visit us CO folks. I always count it as an absolute treat to have her here. She excused my many appointments and made the most of our time together. Like doing normal things: eating lots of grits, staking "lord of catan" rights, trekking to calhan for Rocky Mountain Oysters, and willingly walking Chandler with me. Which made me think her and how blessed I am to see her so often as I walked him again the other day.

It saddens me to think that this could even begin to do justice of the past month. It doesn't. God is doing amazing things. I am so thankful to be apart of them in the slightest ways.

to grandmother's house we go...

2008-12-20T06:58:00.004-07:00

have you ever had sore arm pits? yowzers. i never knew i flexed my pit muscles so much until they got sore.

right before exams were over, i deeply desired some sort of retreat from the hustle and bustle that often comes with being a student, working, and life really. however, how do you go on a retreat and not spend a lot of money... go to grandmothers house!!

raleigh and i went to gramma shellenburgers for a couple nights. she fed us, did puzzles with us, cranked up the christmas tunes, made christmas treats, and we allstill found many ways to rest up next to her fireplace.

however, to explain the "not so happy" arm pits, there are two explanations:

making a "little bo peep" snowlady with a sheep

playing frisbee (an ice cream lid) with two amazing rules...you have to dive everytime the frisbee is thrown to you and you have to throw the frisbee within 3 seconds of catching it

i had no choice but to be a kid in the snow; having to shed wet clothes at the door and jet to the fireplace to warm. what a blast.

we did 5 puzzles. to celebrate, a senior picture pose beside the finished peices.

the price of stay was time spent making peppermint bark, chocolate covered pretzels, and cookies to share. that is the best deal for a free stay i can think of.

Above: the suger cookies we made (bikini momma snow woman in honor of tropical weather in NC) And Below: the fireplace, where you could find Raleigh and i beside most of the time. We often try to save money by not raising the thermostat to much. Having a fireplace to sit beside = wonderful.

Yum....i hope

2008-12-17T08:28:00.004-07:00

Some things in life just make me happy:

dancing, melting snow, morning cups of coffee, listening to people tell stories (not lies, stories), laughing, sleeping in a warm bed, holding babies, jogging, singing...in the shower, watching little kids love Jesus, and cooking...

...cooking has been this new form of therapy in my life and way to express my inner creative self. at least that is what i learned in my creativity class. recent cooking has been sweet potato casserole, cranberry salad (gramma mable version), espresso crinkles, and this morning, Cinnamon rolls:

A couple hours of preparation, some just letting the dough rise, made for a wonderful looking treats at least. Any imperfection i'm hoping cinnamon butter will fix. Haha. Hoping to make some treats at home.

Thanks Mrs. Tillman for the recipe.

2008-12-09T21:28:00.003-07:00

Jassee really blossoms in the snow:

i think that he is dreaming of a white Christmas...and i am too!

snow and school

2008-12-05T07:00:00.002-07:00

Mornings bring me joy. It makes me glad to wake up early be before the sun, start a pot of coffee and guess as to what the early morning light will bring. It's been chilly the past couple of days. In the teens and single digits at time. I couldn't be more thankful for a warm house and homemade chili. Or a car that is still able to trek through snow covered roads. Or mittens, i'm so thankful for mittens!

I'll be honest though. There has been a sense of frustration within me the past couple of weeks. I have been in a whirlwind of school finals preparations and assignment deadlines. Countless times I have wondered what it would be like to actually dedicate myself to this thing called school, learn the taught material, and let myself be inconvenienced by group meetings at the convenience of others. So finally in my college career (87.5% through it) I decided to be the student that I have known for years that I should be. As a result: another thing to be thankful for.

The other day I was talking to mom and telling her that these past two weeks have been the hardest of my college days. It's true. But I feel like more than the knowledge that I have gained and encouragement i've received, is how blessed i am from the friendships that have formed in Group Study room 212.

So I just ask that you would please pray:

for me as I try to let God use me be a student to teach me obedience and discipline
for joy and encouragement (as i often want to SCREAM, but refrain due to library etiquette and other understood reasons)
and for the friendships that have began to really remind me that the mundane of school has purpose bigger than i know. they are a lot of fun.

The sun is out now. There are more colors than it seems from the hundred shades of grey from the picture above.

3 day Thanksgiving...make that 4

2008-12-01T19:54:00.004-07:00

Though Thanksgiving Day was last thursday, i'd argue the celebration started on tuesday as Raleigh and I, with her sister Reade headed to Grandma Shellenburgers mountain-side cabin in the ounce of a town, Wetmore. Last year was my first time going, making the instant wave of heat from the fireplace all the more welcoming.

Dinner and a movie, August Rush, tuesday night was a wonderful start. Reade had surgery on Monday morning which meant much needed sleep for her recovery. After the parents cooked breakfast and while miss reade slept in the early morn, Raleigh and I decided to bolder up a mountain. Wonderful hike, quiet, yet filled with laughter as we had to slide down the mountain in out "thanksgiving wear." Later we picked out the 314 tree!

reade, getting ready the best way that she knows how

from the top

here's the cabin!!

this year's tree...predecorated

So then we went home later that day in order to re coupe, make some sweet potato casserole, can get mentally prepared for the PIT tournament that was going to go down Thanksgiving day.

However, Thanksgiving morning I found myself laughing and talking turkey with family and friends from NC. I am found so thankful that even though we are not together in person, we are able to share similar moments and look forward to the times that we do spend together. I do look forward to being home soon.

As we made it to Simla to spend time with the other side of Raleigh's fam the snow had begun to flurry and the eatin' and PIT bracket makin' began. End result: full tummy's and a hoot of a trophy to carry home! (I'll have to post a picture of it soon.)

Friday was one of my favorite days of thanksgiving: morning brunch with the Tillman fam, then Raleigh and I headed to Denver to see our friends Rachel and Megan(from the road trip to arkansas)...had some bangin' hot wings sided with lots of laughs. And lastly, Mrs. Becky taught me how to make an Advent wreath from the trimmings we collected in the mountains that seems to go well with the rest of the decorations!

THANKS FOR COMING MOM!!

2008-11-22T13:46:00.005-07:00

Mom in Colorado = Amazing

Mom befriending foxes = suspicious

Mom and I sitting in red wood bar stools = fancy

Mom sipping on hot chocolate in the snow = yummy

Mom getting to meet the kids I nannied for last year = priceless

Mom trekin' the Rocky mountains with Riccara, Chandler, and I = Acclimating

On the way up Mt. Cutler, Mom was determined not to slow any Coloradians down. So juggling an uphill hike, a conversation, and breathing Mom strolled up the mountain. About half way up I decided to keep mom ahead of me "just to make sure", 'cause she said she was fine. I shortly called the hike to a screeching halt once she started swaying left to right. We laugh now, but I'm not sure if she would have stopped. Haha.

sunset the night mom left = beautiful sight to reminisce about the weekend

Kajsa Joy

2008-11-10T23:11:00.004-07:00

A couple weekend ago I was able to go and watch some soccer and see my friend Rudy and her little girl Kajsa (meaning Pure) Joy. I couldn't help but share a picture of this beautiful little girl. Rudy and I were able to catch up a little, while Kajsa just kicked her feet and talked away. Wow, what a sweet girl.

Rachel G or BUST!!

2008-11-10T22:19:00.004-07:00

Oh man. You ever sit down in a pink velvet rocking chair, kick the feet up and grab hold of a good classic novel? You won't believe this, but I did that tonight. Wierd. Granite, I highly recommend it.

This past weekend will go down in the books as a time I'll always cherish. Raleigh and I drove 11 hours to Siloam Springs, Arkansas last Thursday. Home of the Golden Eagles and our dear friend Rachel Gerdin:

While in Arkansas we went to a bangin' concert, ate at an amazing cafe 3 (yes, 3) times called "Cafe on Broadway," watched Rachel play her last game, ate Brawny's ice cream, got to hang out with some of her friends (who are hilarious), played Rock Band, saw U of A, and were able to be with Rachel...which I would say was the main goal!

Here is a pic from the soccer game. It was cold and windy. They are such troopers. I'm glad for sports like basketball and blankets. Thank God for blankets.

Being on the road for 22 hours gives need for a good co-tripper. Raleigh and I live together well, get along and such, and eat the occasional meal together. But never in a million years would I have thought to be so blessed by my time with Raleigh. I haven't laughed as hard as I did in those 3 days in a long, long time.

I'm so glad to have spent time with good friends. And these things'll such make a road tripper smile:

Sweet Rainbow. $1.89 gas.

2008-11-03T08:28:00.002-07:00

as the strum of a guitar
vibrates my soul i
watch as the fall unravels

one leaf at a time.

though each plays its
own melody
together they've become

a glorious song.

and as the sun reflects
the fallen yellows and reds
wonder arises

what will this season bring?

my Love.
my Love.

The ROCKY MOUNTAIN kind...

2008-10-20T13:36:00.004-07:00

know what these are????

That's RIGHT!!!

ROCKY MOUNTAIN OYSTERS!

This was such a treat. My friends Justin, Zak, Holly, Jason and I all piled in a little Honda and drove out to the big, no light town of Calhan, CO. Here we found us some Rocky Mountain Oysters, deep friend and highly breaded with some good dippin' cocktail sauce.

SO, how do I descibe this here appetizer...

moo.

totally tagged...now you!

2008-10-16T19:45:00.003-07:00

Blog Tagging: the act of "tagging" through name mentioning by a previously tagged blogger to an untagged blogger; requiring the tagged blogger to state 6 random things about themselves to the blog world and then blog tag to continue providing laughs and knowledge to all who read!

why 6 facts?...

In the 2nd grade I was an old greyhound in our class play which spoke a single, moaning line, "Oh, please, please, don't step on me. I'm just too old. I'm 53. I cannot hunt. I cannot run. My master says that I'm not much fun."
Cafeteria food is incredible. I'm talking, real cafeteria food, not the "fast-food line." Tuesday's salad bar, Wednesday's Taco Bar (yum), Thursday's potato bar is fair game to shake up the monthly menu. And even though friday is always Pizza Day, I'd favor the left overs from the day (or two) before. Favorite all-time lunch meal: "rib" sandwich, side salad, and cinnamon apples and sweet tea.
Speaking of food. Oreo's and milk aren't really my thing. Take a whole oreo, put it in your mouth--DON'T CHOMP YET, drink a little water and let the oreo melt in your mouth. Personal vote for the best way to eat an oreo.
Mom and Dad used to call me "Calli DeNicole." Mom's middle name was Denise, and mine Nicole. Since Mom wouldn't let me be Calli Denise, we compromised.
I own every Celine Dion album...french and english both. That is not so random for those that know me, but top 5 albums...1. Beauty and the Beast 2. Colour of my Love 3. Falling Into you 4. Best Hits/New Day Has Come 5. Unison. I don't know why, really. That isn't what is important though. It's more important to know talent when you hear it.
I rub my feet together to go to sleep. Also when I'm just sitting on the couch lounging. I found out sometime around 10 yrs old, that Mom does the same thing. Could it be genetic???

Tag: Merilee, Mel, Mom, Dad, Margie, Aunt Donna!!

Yaw are it!

TYE in TOWN!

2008-10-16T19:00:00.006-07:00

Evidently, there is a phenomenon happening in the blog world: BLOG TAGGING. I've been tagged. But before that post can occur, there is something pretty exciting to share...TYELISA, one of my good friends from high school, came to CO and we got to hang out!!

She was staying at the beautiful Keystone Resort, so I begged (really she put up a fight!) her not to get a rental car and let me come get her. Some shots on the way in:

There is something super breath taking in simply the view of mountains. Add a cool, cloudy day and changing leaves and you have a loss of words. Then...

...you see your friend, freak out, hug and remember you can speak again and say, "Tye, I can't believe you're here" a hundred times.

We decided it was cold and we should stop for coffee. Ended up in Georgetown, CO finding ourselves not only getting coffee, but celebrating the Aspen Festival with lots of Aspen lovers.

Tye was hilarious. She is in rare form if she is not found posing for a picture.

We found this park ont the way out of town that was pretty old, like late 1800's. They had just renovated parts of it, including the fence. After we left there, we decided to run onto the town median (note, there was only one) and take a picture with the sign---then darted to Denver and returned back in time for corn-hole, dinner at Jack Quinn's Irish pub, and an arcade game before Momma Mia:

not until this post did i realize how much we did in 29 hours, but there is no way to express how good it was to see Tye.

Funny story, we beat boxed for the kids because we didn't have a cd for the game at church. Haha. We got a kick out of it, but talk about some perplexed 5 year olds!

Oh what Fall may bring...

2008-10-13T19:11:00.003-07:00

It was a day never to forget as the Troublesome Three headed to the town some like to call...Penrose. There, amongst the shrub edged roads and the school children cornered by rattlesnakes, found us we did an ORCHARD, Happy Apple Farm that is!

Though upon arrival a startling post upon the door stating "Late Frost: No Apple's from these here trees." Hampered not by such startling news, onward we marched to find us our awaited treasures: the squash fruit of all fall squash fruit; PUMPKINS.

The Rock Star (Reade), the Gramma (as herself), and the one "Tired of pictures in the wind" (Raleigh) each had their share of pickin's. Funny we found, some green.

Some pictures to prove of our fabulous finds.

Though happy the farm, the apple lovers tear.

Yet Gramma revived the mood at lunch by surprising us girls with gummy body parts to munch. A lemon-lime tongue, an fruit punch eye, and a banana finger to all surprise!

2008-09-30T21:30:00.004-07:00

Pictures say enough at times. These are all from this past weekend in Indiana. Lovely weather and beautiful wedding (Lana and Kyle.) Best of all: wonderful friends, whom i tend to call my family. And I got to see Dad and Mom! Sweet, refreshing, hilarious, incredible weekend.

Seen above (Left to Right): Maddie, Katie; Calli, Lana, Kyle; Little Eva, Brian; Bridesmaids (Emily Anne, Emily Jane, Lana, Leslie, Calli; Calli, Gramma & Granpa Gottschalk; Mom, Emily Jane, Evan.)

2008-09-17T15:11:00.002-07:00

man, does time fly or what?

it's mid-september...leaves are changing colors a little...nights and days are cooler (if not cold at times)...a weekend in denver, with a weekend in indiana to follow for Kyle and Lana's wedding...my friend tyelisa here the weekend after that. life is full and beautiful.

days are coming and going.

bless you today.

harvest and trip pics.

2008-09-01T10:45:00.007-07:00

Happy Labor Day to all! All you labor folks you!

I know we are focusing on not working today, but some exciting news: today is the first official day i get to join the staff at Vanguard Church working along side the "P-team" in the children's ministry. Main task ahead are scheduling, playing with kids, telling kids about Jesus, setting up stations, and more things that involve technical child care terms (no need to confuse you)!

But since it's really a holiday, this morning there was time to take pics of the garden and there are a couple at the end from my trip with Raleigh to Evergreen, Edwards & Brekinridge, CO last weekend.

round squash...

yellow squash...

snap beans...

tomatoes...

maybe an okra sprout...

Raleigh & I by the river you see below.

Brekenridge, CO. P.s. there was a bubba gump's in town that had a fantabulous fish sandwich. It beats 'bout any i ever had.

2008-08-31T20:45:00.003-07:00

and i just wanted to note that while i was posting, only minutes ago, a skunk trotted under my feet. haha. colorado life is so unpredictable.

come see for yourself!

Random's tonight.

2008-08-31T19:23:00.003-07:00

It's the end of summer. For some, the actual date of September 23 accounts for a season change, for others: the start of school. I hereby, AM one of the others.

Tonight, i sit outside, back porch highly vacant, with one of the boldest and freshly ground cups of coffee; only second to the cups by the Whidbey shores. Black. Bold. and Bangin'. All this while Mr. and Mrs. Kimbell to the right have lit up their back yard with string lights and tiki tourches. Bonfire crackles and warms our yards too.

I want to share my heart with you. Loved. Since coming back to Maplewood Dr., my neighbors have blessed me by being simply neighbors. We have shared stories, exchanged vegetables and hotdog chili, advice, and time. Before coming home, I remember wanting so deeply to know them better, for longer, and with more gentleness and love. They have surpassed any attempts i could have made. I'm sure Raleigh would agree in part. She's a hotdog fan, and surely is ready to bust out some of ole' Oscar's Chili.

It's been nice to hear about how other people are doing. Mom and Dad are still remodeling and working to move back to Groff St. Leslie is about to hike for a while, then we'll meet for Lana's wedding in a month. My neighbor Chris just finished boot camp at top of his platoon and you talk about having a proud daddy; that man is proud! Raleigh's team played a weekend ago and went 2 for 2 (it was a sweet weekend all together.) Cabarrus county flooded for a couple days, but fortunately receeded. Crazy though.

Most refreshing ice cream all time: mint chocolate chip.

Latest colorado predator: skunk.

Cutest colorado predator: skunk.

Hilarous babysitting quote: (while slicing an apple) "You cut an apple well for being half kid and half grown up." - Celia

Campfires smell like heaven. Hopefully...or bacon.

Lastly, jalopenos spice up your life, not just your food.

ehh.

2008-08-18T09:19:00.003-07:00

i think that my neighbors breed dogs. i've come close to vomiting multiple times. A divine blessing was sent from above when i was reminded that i have a radio that can be played loudly. and that i also own whitney houston music. not that any of her music sends a message "i will always love you", "when you believe", ....hmmm, maybe "heartbreak hotel."

i pray this sad happening for no one. i also pray that the rest of the neighbors are at work...or this is going to be one nauseated street.

to stay out of trouble.

2008-08-15T15:10:00.002-07:00

p.s. there is more, Margie. I haven't forgot! So here is one till later.

you crazy gals!

Summer Trip 1

2008-08-15T12:33:00.007-07:00

There is a cold front that's moved in for the weekend here in CO. I'm shivering in my house with a brand new cup of hot english breakfast tea.

It's time to reminise over these past four weeks in places that know no such things as cold front i think.

I was in NC for a while. Somewhere around 4 weeks. And even though i didn't get to spend lots of time with everyone, sometimes it is just good to be with friends and family for a bit. It's refreshing to sit and be with ones that i love and love me.

Because we are meant to be an honest people, i'll admit i didn't know what to expect or how to prepare for the time ahead. I knew that i wanted to see my friends and family, i wanted good time with mom and dad, and i wanted leave having cared and loved well.

After spending some time in Wilmington and with the padres, i went to WV to see my friend Merilee. It's good to get to know someone better by just being with them. It seems like every day brought something new. We talked and ate together and with friends, berry picked and riffle hunted, took a long walk and run, and even tried to take home stray dogs (she is pretty darn brave).

I look forward to continue thinking about and understanding more of what i learned in just a few days in WV. About friendships, hospitality, justice and poverty, Jesus, and compassion. Also, baking wonderful coblers and cookies. I'm thankful to have been welcomed with such open arms.

merilee and bobbi working on his truly exceptional batting skills.

Pastor slicing the pieces for the watermelon eating contest.

beanie (her awarded name) and i.

Here is a natural spring Merilee told me about. Water so cold, so pure tasting.

when you have a dog like Oso (means bear in espanol), you only need one dog.

Other moments included the surprising time that Mom, Dad and I got to spend with the Long family:

Dad, Mom, Avery, Tana, and Morghan fightin' the flies for the best corn and chicken i might'd ever had.

you should see this girl eat. talk about technique.

Madelyn and Avery joined us for a morning of jetti wall fishin.

and when i mean technique, i mean TECHNIQUE!

dad was proud of avery for eating so many crab legs.

rollin.

2008-08-08T06:51:00.003-07:00

big wheels keep on turnin'
and the proud mary keep on burnin'

-tina.

to the 6th.

2008-08-05T19:34:00.002-07:00

i'm tired. mostly from eating wonderful food, but partly from early mornings that lead to fun-filled days and HOTNESS.

so much has happened in the past 3 + weeks. all of which has pictures and commentary.

right now i watch as my mother prepares for the feast of tomorrow. no time waste around here. that is why she is taking off work again. her and dad both. which gives explanation why perfect attendance was never an option for me.

tomorrow is special. i'll have lived 21 years. and there is one thing that i was sure that i wanted to do in celebration: play golf. 18 holes of driving, chipping, putting, and quiet. however that quiet may be interrupted by mine or dad's incredible gift of missing the fairway and taking out trees or wildlife.

cheers.

Time with Momma

2008-07-30T08:02:00.004-07:00

Last week Mom up-and-skipped out on work just to hang out with me a day. We had such a good time. Which i would say is typical for us if we are not shopping together. So since we both dislike shopping, we did none of that.

The morning started with a nice long walk around the park pond and back, ate breakfast, and washed a car together. Then we set off (after showering, of course) and went to the Billy Graham Library. Mom and I were both excited, but i think in no way prepared for how much we would enjoy our time learning about Billy, the BG Ministry, his wife Ruth, but mostly about the eagerness of a man to get to know and love his Father and Savior more than all else.

The tour was estimated to last 1.5 - 2 hours. Yea, we were there for a little over 3 hours. Some of the rooms had video and testimonials, but mostly were filled with scripture and truth, with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The setting of the library is in a barn that represents the childhood of Billy who grew up on a dairy farm; and funny enough the intro to the tour is given by a cow. Here are some pictures:

I have such a beautiful mother. Or bobba, as i call her.

her name was daisy, i believe. mom and i had differing views on whether she was real or not when we walked in. then she began to talk. mom had high hopes i think.

ruth graham's high school bible. she was in china for most of her years as a child while her family was living there (i'm pretty sure for missions).

Ruth tombstone engraved, "Finished with Construction--thank you for your patience."

The house Billy grew up in. It had been moved, but it's true location was only a few miles down the road.

2008-07-23T22:28:00.000-07:00

To back track this summer excursion, i wanted to post some pictures of my time with Leslie in Whidbey Island. What a place of beauty, of small town life, of hard work, and uniqueness. I say this in all truth. And the most beautiful towns on the island were seriously smaller than my school campus i think.

Spending time with Leslie (whom i never call Leslie actually), is always being at home to me. And it's espcially true that being with her means sharing life with her, which is something i truly love. No matter what she is doing, wherever she is at. Like this past time we walked pikes place market in seattle and went to the acquarium (which rocks), harvested Lavender, walked the pebbly and sea glass filled beach, slept under the countless stars, did yard work, ate wonderfully including swiss chard at every meal, drank coffee, and watched the sunset on her roof, talked, laughed. so here are some pictures from the trip.

summer seems to be beautiful everywhere aslo. homemade ice cream is full force. and i've finally made it to the settling down half of my trip to NC. tonight was spent with Mom, Dad, and I with Margie and David at the Pizza Hut. there are no restaurants here that aren't irreplaceable, but the memories us and the White's have at PH are irreplaceable. even tonight...i was trying to frisbee a salad bowl to mom across a few tables, but instead i threw the bowl right upside Margie's head. Thank God she laughed cause i thought i'd done caused serious damage. fortunately there was none.

this morning dad and i went fishing. caught tons of pen fish, and 2 black drum. Jeti walls are bangin'. The way the waves splash up are so beautiful. Dad caught a crazy lookin' eel thing, that we will ask no questions about. He was slimy and eely, but fun. and yesterday we visited Gramma Edith and Aunt Joanne with Richard, Susuan, Wayne, and Estelle. They are a rowdy bunch. Especially since Gramma's 90th Bday is coming up.

7.21.08

2008-07-21T06:26:00.003-07:00

with a breeze coming off of the old atlantic ocean, it's really not too hot. the comfort of being around old friends and family makes for wonderful conversation and laughter. it's good that some things don't change so much.

i'm in wilmington now for a couple of days. it's crazy to think that my little cousin is about on day 3 of her marraige that she is still celebrating in disney world. i'll never forget the look on her husband joe's face when those doors opened and she walked down the isle. he cried. i and all the bridesmaides cried. then lisa started tearing up. i love love stories.

life has been crazy for quite a while, but funny enough since all my old roommates are not here i have some time to reflect on what's been going on the past few weeks. unfortunately with all of the traveling i've spent close to zero time with mom and dad. that's more acceptable 2500 miles away, but not if your in the same state. so i'm glad to spend time with them soon.

have you seen batman? it's a pretty good movie. i'm sure that most everyone would like it. lot's of action and heath ledger does a bangin' job. however the highlight of the movie for me was getting a message that my friend Rudy had her baby...Kajsa Joy. She was born a healthy baby 7 lbs. 6 oz. I'm so excited to see her sometime when i get back!

Here are some things that I am in anticipation for:

spending large amounts of time on the beach.
seeing more friends here in wilmington (some newly married)
Dad's coming and seeing gramma Edith
Seeing Merilee in WV. Being a part of her community and getting to know up close the people and place around her, and share life in the same place for a few days.
Momma's home cookin'.
dancing with momma.
Sweating! Really that is a lot harder to do in Colorado.

There are some fun things that are coming up in the fall too. All that i am excited for, but i'm trying my best to make sure of the time that i have here is spent here...sun a blaze, blanket fully spread, and 50 spf lathered on the pastiest white legs you've ever seen.

yesterday lauren said, "yea, calli you are pasty." and no laughter followed. she was dead serious.

2008-07-08T22:25:00.002-07:00

a quick run-down:

in 5 hours Raleigh takes me to the Denver airport where i'll head to see Leslie for 5 days in Washington. There will be some Seattle sight seeing with much time on Whidbey (going to work at the lavender farm, do yoga, camp out, laugh, eat wonderful and fresh garden food).

Then Leslie drops me off on the 14th for a red-eye flight to myrtle beach where i'll stay with Leslie's sister, Lana, and her friend Sarah, for 2 days. i think that i may have mentioned that Lana is getting married in september, so it will be so nice to catch up and see facial expressions with THE spectacular story i'll ask her to tell. Maybe twice.

Then to Concord, where cousin Lisa is getting married to Joe. Whoop whoop. And hopefully this will be the first pit-stop to post pictures.

And to think this is only a third of the trip to NC.

I'm looking forward to it. To seeing friends and family. To seeing the beach and sunrise hopefully. To Sundrop and Dill Pickle Chips!

Tonight was such a wonderful night though (I have to mention it.) Friends, tacos (both fish and beef), blueberry-peach cornmeal crusted goodness & ice cream, so...so much laughter, a slight attempt at cornhole, and seeing the pink colorado sunset over the mountains. I can't imagine any other way i would have enjoyed this night more.
I am blessed.

oh shoot.

2008-07-07T06:49:00.004-07:00

today is july 7. raleigh gets back from california today! i'm really excited. glad to see her, share stories, laugh, cry maybe (but surely tears of joy), and get back in time for a 3 Amigo's party at the Tillman Ranch.

i've learned a lot from being at home alone here for the past 12 days. life stays busy for the most part. i think that these times of solitude are few and far between and highly unappreciated (especially by someone like Calli Edwards).

it's uncomfortable being alone. just me and God. now granite, i did a lot this past week and a half. spent time with friends, hiked, cooked, cleaned in circles, and learned to play the guitar a bit. doing all these things were great, enjoyable, fun. but at the end of this "alone" time there is one question that i have been left with, "how can i practically change my life so that i can be closer with God? to allow me to listen better and more frequently (like a habit that becomes natural)? that is easily interruptable by God? that today i am different than yesterday and tomorrow different than today in obedience ("Be holy as I am holy." 1 Peter 1:16, Lev 11:44)?

a friend of mine was telling me that the more she got to know God, the more separated she felt from this world. she followed by saying, "you'll begin to see that." i laugh now thinking of how true that is. but if we are striving for holiness that shouldn't be a secret. being holy is to be set apart--set apart to sin and impurity, and set apart to God (who is not of this world). NASB notes.

There is a Derek Webb song, "This World", and there is a line that says, "This world has nothing for me; this world has everything."

I know the truth of those words because of both learning the hard way and God's willingness to give me understanding. I believe with all my heart that God will show us that this world has nothing for us without us needing to find out on our own. I believe it. I've seen the fruit of it. Still seeing it.

Praise the Lord! So the one question that has turned into a series of questions, I am left to wrestle with, leaves me hoping to be ever-changed by the answers (like them or not) that are revealed in time.

BY THE PRECIOUS BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST WE ARE SAVED. 1 Peter 1:19. Precious blood.

July 4th...2008

2008-07-06T18:39:00.007-07:00

July 4, 2008 was spent with the Tillman family (well 3 of them...Bob, Becky, and Reade) and Gramma Carolyn. I arrived midday to meet the ladies at the grocery store to follow them to the cabin. When we walked out of the store, I think that Reade's words were, "You know you are in Rye when there is a horse when you walk out of the grocery store."

So we took some pictures of ole' Nelly.

Reade and I spent some time down by the creek before talking getting Gramma Carolyn to show us around her old stomping grounds. She taught us so much. Each story was so rich with emotion. Like every word made each memory more and more real. This is just a piece of what we learned:

She moved to Rye from Kansas after her father spent the previous summer building a lodge for their family behind her grandparent home in Rye (though still a 25ish minute drive from the cabin). Apart of Roosevelt's attempt to reboot the economy after the Great Depression this lodge was built to be surrounded by cabins for vacationing. Food would come from the lodge, add on the rent, and that is how Gramma Carolyn's family tried to make end's meet.

She told of how they lived off of the land from a big garden, only making a trip to the nearest big city once a month.

I loved watching her tell stories.

the field behind her grandparents home

the lodge (quite unoccupied by anything but bats)

Gramma Carolyn's playground...on a cliff! she must have been a fearless child.

the outhouse perfectly centered between the lodge and the cabins

reade and gramma at the creek after cooling our feet!

Afterwards we went back, painted, some napped, then had hotdogs and shared stories over a fire. It was such a neat night. A great July 4.

It's been a long time since i've spent the 4th firework-less. I'd recommend it. There's just something about quiet. Something good i'd say.

7.03.08

2008-07-03T14:35:00.004-07:00

Gardening Haiku

seeds soundly sleeping

till rain and sunny days knock

who'da thunk: snap peas!

from the "c drive"

2008-06-25T13:45:00.004-07:00

as a college student i wanted to be cool and sociable, especially in my beginning years of my undergraduate studies. there are two things that were definately true. one, i had instant messenger. and two, i had friends to encourage having instant messenger. many i laughed, cried, and sun-tanned with. however, there was clearly one friend of mine that stood out like a sore thumb; her name is Amanda Case.

i laughed harder than my abs should have allowed me when i was with her. you know, one of those rare friends that makes laughter contageous. yes, this is her.

well, today i have had some time to clean out some things from my computer. hilariously enough, i had saved some old instant messenger conversations with some people. Mostly old boyfriends (some entertaining), but i came across one that Amanda Case had left me long after I had fallen asleep one night. She went on and on telling me about why she was up so late. Funny how quickly i began to hear her say those words; i started laughing. however, i was ill prepared for what she left me at the end of the message: this link...after stating she wasn't much of an NSYNC fan.

enjoy...id' be surprised if you didn't.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6739710473912337648

some happenings around 314

2008-06-16T11:40:00.007-07:00

...which has nothing to do with the movie "the happening", because i heard that it was scary and just sounds like a horrible movie!!...!!!

starting with some comparisons to the growing that is going on in NC and around 314:

314:

lettuce and tomatoes seem to be doing well. zucchini was coming up pretty well with the squash, but they seem to be taking a breather and waiting on the cantaloupe. also there is fun insect growing (as long as they stay outside)...orange spider eggs that reflect sun quite beautifully.

NC growing: when i was about 7 or 8 years old, my Paw Paw Tom (Dad's dad) gave me a peach tree to plant beside our house at Groff St. Mom and I stopped by when i was home to see the house they are moving back into and check out the size of this tree...and it's peaches!! Peach Pie anyone?

also, there has been some cornhole assembling in the southwest!! the midwest in the southwest, woop woop! cornhole will be tested out in tomorrow nights cookout.

my friend/co sister risa made some homemade bagels. this is quite phenomenal in many ways, considering she normally bakes fabulous cookies, instead she made fabulous bagels and even mentioned considering making it a "new thing" to make bread.

last week was also VBB: which was so amazing. what a privilege it was to be able to serve these children. they are wonderful. spunky. full of life and wonder. what a blessing it is to be able to see these children worship, pray, and dance before the Lord at such a young age. May the Lord continue to draw this generation to Him.

And praise the Lord for the leadership that helped bring mountains of details together for this week. All their blood, sweat, and tears was for the eternal glory of God. Heaven had to have been rockin' with us!

here are a few pics from the incline: beautiful sunrise, cool morning, worth the pain.

limb felling

2008-06-13T09:07:00.004-07:00

i've been out in the yard for a while this morning. mowing, trying to figure out this grass thing, removing laundry from the line, etc. but my heart sank this morning as i was trying to cut away sprawling limbs off the tree in the back yard.

what made it difficult was probably all sparked by the fact that my cutting tool was much too small for some of the limbs. so excess bending and twisting all had to take place just to remove these innocent little limbs.

now understand that the reason i am doing this is so that water can project more than 2 inches from the sprinkler before hitting its nearest object. but, oh i hated this. this tree has so much life in all of its limbs. i even was pulling back the bark at one point to make the limb smaller...and it was wet. THERE WAS LIFE and i was chopping it away.

Then i instantly thought, "oh i need leslie gottschalk." not because she is a heartless person (for we know she is quite heartfelt involving creation), but surely she would have known a much less painful way to fell a limb.

none the less, the limbs are gone. and in trying to earn back my trust with nature i'm even trying to transplant (?) some wildflowers in the backyard that were reaching their roots underneath the driveway. it may be hazardous, but they have done no wrong.

unbeknownst...i love this word

2008-06-12T21:53:00.003-07:00

my friend, and sister really, Lana Gottschalk is engaged. She has been a beautiful one to watch fall in love even though our conversations are few and far between.

i love how she called me the other morning. telling me the "good news." all smiles through the phone, surely wanting to scream and tell the world how much she loves this man, but able to bring herself to a more calm collection of excited words with timely laughter to emphasize how ridiculously blown away she is.

the engagement story is wonderful...and hilarious. in other word, it would happen only this way for Lana Gottschalk.

where she get it!

2008-06-09T13:03:00.003-07:00

Other than the fact that this is sideways, this for sure is one of the greatest traits my precious, sweet mother has past along to me. I can honestly say that there has never been a time that i have been home and not danced.

so, where she get it?....she get it from her momma.

beat provided by Ryan Shaw "Do the 45"...a vrromate suggestion.

NC, Food, and the sky

2008-06-06T05:43:00.006-07:00

Things will be considerably different between 6:45 am MST and 11:10 pm EST. I will have:

completed 6 hours of business elective...and be done for the summer
landed in the Charlotte-Douglas airport where my wonderful ride, Spencer White, will pick me up then head directly to the Speedway Blvd. Steak-n-Shake!
been unemployed (not including the occasional Chandler walk) for almost 3 weeks.
only less than 72 hours before VBB/VBS starts at church!...getting pumped.
and hopefully have packed appropriately for the cool, NC air...psssh.

This weekend will be exciting. The quickest visit to NC ever...like 36 hours (including sleep). But, mom and i have already discussed food, and the game plan for the day so it should be spectacular. And get this...SUNDROP POUND CAKE!! hey hey. mom's brilliant.

You know, the past two years of my life, cereal, tuna, soup, and microwavable frozen meals were the highlight of my dietary habits. But this year has proven to be much different. For example this week alone:

Monday: Grilled Salmon with grilled vegetables and fruit.
Tuesday: Terriyaki Chicken, Sweet Potato, and Zucchini Kabobs.
Wednesday: Grilled Salmon Sandwiches w/ chips and Fruit
Last Night (after a cool and rainy day):

Chili! A special recipe, that will most likely not be revisited till the next cool fall day. So, yes, chili with corn muffins (corn kernels included), and crispy green lettuce leaves topped with walnuts and strawberries (raspberry-walnut vinaigrette if you wish).

I am so full still after this week. But the best piece of advice i have for you is come and visit! We offer a cozy environment with funny people and delicious food (to say the least). And if you leave dissatisfied, we'll feed you ice cream!

Yay, for summer time. With warmer weather, the blue sky becomes mixed with puffy clouds which sometimes turn to a mucky grey, bringing rain. But i love thunderstorm...when i'm in a safe place. Growing up, my Pawpaw Cal would sit outside on his porch and watch the illuminating clouds draw near in such an uproar it would shake the house. I think I share the same joy in seeing something so big and out of my control take over the sky. While sitting on the back porch the other night, i snapped a shot at the sky trying to maybe grasp how incredible these clouds were.

9:47 p.m. MST

2008-05-26T20:36:00.003-07:00

What is life like without school?

It's like my internal clock would not function if there were no anticipation of a classroom lecture or a late-night attempt at writing short answer, upon short answer, upon essay.

And rightly so, considering i've been told that learning is nurishment. (soothing)

None the less, i will climb that palm tree of knowledge and bare hold of its fruit. Even if i want to pull a George Washington to the darn thing.

ahhh...that feels better.

tonight

2008-05-24T20:06:00.004-07:00

there is something special about tonight.
if it wasn't enough for You to set the mood
with the figure of Your creation outlined with
the setting sun, then You have made sure in
this moment of silence.

i dare not move

let's just remember, tonight.

Psalm 116:7

Myer's Park?

2008-05-21T06:30:00.002-07:00

This morning, my hotmail advertised an article by Newsweek posting America's best high schools. There were 5 out of NC (2 in Greensboro, 2 in Raleigh, and 1 in Charlotte). The one that surprised me most was Myer's Park at 38th in the country. Myer's Park...really? And crazy that NC had 5 schools on the list.

Ole' Colorado had one i think. But was standing proud.

Anyways...here is the link to the article.

2008-05-19T20:06:00.006-07:00

we are before an awesome Giver of Life. and that is so encouraging to deepest part of my soul that has been yearning to believe the truth of that statement.

there seems to be no good reason for me to have received the blessings of today that has provided this joy. i know that i don't deserve them, but none the less, they a have been provided. selah.

this morning was an early rise to what i thought was about 8 or so considering the amount of light coming in my window. however 6 is obviously the new 8...and even better, it was warm enough for tea, reading, and short-wearing on the back porch. the Lord does a work of art in our lives. as i read about His love and purpose for Elijah, it makes me more eager to live more faithfully and willingly and availably, so that He can be honored and others may know this unbelievably unconditional love.

as the day went on, much laughter, work, and conversation went down at 314 Maplewood. it may be hard to believe, but raleigh and i don't really get to spend a day together. often i forget how fun she is. mostly because it's discouraging to live with such an incredible student (and be the polar opposite.) however, today i was well reminded of the wonderful friendship we share.

also, change has been wanted, needed and gradually accomplished. when things stay the same i tend to get restless and it shows. considering something had to be done here are some fun changes of late:

1. change in seasons

2. enjoying a clothesline

3. finding a free push mower...a "divine send"...really

4. being able to bike home and seeing this

5. a little flower bed...and a garden to come.

the climax of the day, however, was celebrating the year of life given to Mandy and Dave (friends met through raleigh). Her name is Avery and she might sure be the most amazing depiction of the joy that God can bring to our lives. pictures will most likely be on their blog.

thank you for reading.

2008-05-16T21:48:00.001-07:00

chandler is chewing my sock. and i am upset because it is my fault.

grrr...irresponsible dog sitting.

faith...duh

2008-05-14T20:42:00.002-07:00

kids are amazing.
they continuously blow me away.
i have been able to help with 3-5 yr. old kids on wednesdays.

there was this little girl tonight that had hurt her foot on a toy which led to crying/ hyperventilation. so i asked her to to calm down so i could understand her, and she pointed while crying. and turns out, there was nothing there, that i could see at least.

so i had an amazed look on my face, and asked her how she was able to heal so well, because that was unbelievable.

and she look at me with the most duh look i have ever seen i think, and said, "well, it was God."

what faith.

my toby

2008-05-13T16:50:00.002-07:00

words of truth from my bud toby, "ain't it crazy how there can be a million buggies at wal-mart, but i get the one with the messed up wheel! can you hear it?"

wiggle skreetch wiggle

so nice

2008-04-28T21:45:00.002-07:00

it's getting late...almost way past my bed time. in the middle of a little debrief moment; from the day, from work, i've just realized how relaxing it is to not throw your brain to sleep before taking a moment to reflect on the day. especially today.

i think there is a window open. the dog has been barking from next door. his "ruff" seems not to me muffled like usual. hearing the breeze cool down the day just filled me with wonderful memories of the outdoor sounds i've always loved: crickets in the summer, the medley of singing birds in the spring, rain drops (and it's smell too), the tiniest mosquitoes buzzing next to our ears in mekoshika while visiting leslie (though memorable, i'm not sure if i loved that night. but who could resist laughing at bumps on our foreheads the next morning?), the sound of a stream that so perfectly trickles over it's bed of rocks, rolls upon rolls of ocean waves meeting the shore, wind chimes, chopped wood crackling down to fiery coal, wood peckers.

today has been a good day. a day of both laughter and tears. one filled with cloudy skies and blue ones to end the day. as well as one with lessons learned and maybe some taught. i liked today. it's good to enjoy days.

first ever 5+2

2008-04-27T15:42:00.004-07:00

There is this Santa Barbara thing that Raleigh has recently taught me and i've seen her do quite a few times on her blog, and it's called a 5 +2. It is 5 things that you are thankful for and 2 things that you are looking forward to. I'll admit that i tried it the other day and was so self minded that i couldn't/didn't want to think of anything that i was thankful for. Thinking of 5 things that i was "over-with" would have been much easier. But if it is alright (which i hope it is), i would like to try again.

raleigh's fresh made granola (so good every time)
watching prayers be answered
waking up from a nap in the back yard with squirrel shaking in shock (may i note there was intense eye contact.)
getting Beth Moore tickets for this upcoming weekend -- she has beautiful hair
hearing my mom's impersonation of Aerial (bloop bloop bloop)

going to street church tonight
a beautiful week to come

Alright. that was nice. hope all is well with you guys.

p.s. i heard the heat is hitting in NC. shew.

2008-04-14T22:47:00.002-07:00

This past Saturday night was a treat. Something that i come to cherish is spending time with kids. They are such a blast, especially since they are not really mine. So when the oppurtunity to babysit came along, old nanny calli went to spend saturday night with 6 brothers and sisters (6 total). kids ages ranging from 2-11, evenly genderized, and all containing some natural form of red hair!

so the night went like so:

ate pizza
watched a movie
put 2 to bed
played a game
put another to bed
then mom and dad returned home

seemed pretty typical i would say. and maybe it was. but man, was it a blast. i don't know exactly why. i know that big families are always fun to me. noise is ever constant, but seems comforting with 6 you know (silence would seem odd)?

just wanted to share.

the little

2008-04-13T14:11:00.002-07:00

there is something about walking into work, most likely into the wind, at 7 a.m.
driest air, so crispy cool.
countless construction workers carrying packaged lunch coolers.
i cherish fighting over free parking with these dedicated early risers.

ants are such a tease.
surely they know they tickle so well
as i try my hardest to let them stomp around on my big toe without laughing.
oh, to share common ground with ones so tiny.

waking up to a spring morning has never been
so welcoming as i remember.
Nature must have chorus practice for first period.
perfect practice makes perfect.

His child rocked me to tears.
though she fell asleep in my arms
i observed an irreplaceable gift of faith.
she trusted that she would be cared for, and rested soundly.

may we learn from Your ways.
thank You for taking time to care for
the smallest of Yours.
always.

Spring Break ends

2008-03-30T19:13:00.003-07:00

It seems as though blogging has become much more of a random thought catch-up system, than a means of expressing deep, sincere, thought provoking messages. But it is all done with good intentions. Therefore, my attempt at sharing my life with you. Today, tonight is my last day of spring break. I took off, not only school, but work as well. Many things have happened in the past 11 days:

i read an entire book (Serve God, Save the Planet)

went hiking and trail ran

raked and dethatched yard(s)

spent good time with friends by watching movies, having meals, driving places, cooking...

spent a day with Trenton and Tristen

saw Horton Hears a Who and Tyler Perry's Meet Mrs. Brown (both recommended)

spent Easter away from family, but with some other friends lackin' close relatives here in the springs. I know i missed a bangin' fish fry, but can say that this time was irreplaceable as well.

also in these past days there are some thoughts that i have...well thought, and would like to share:

i don't know if i like vacationing in my own home and would seriously consider never doing it again.

"I all of a sudden feel joyful. it must be my new sense of purpose." -Horton. This line just struck me. How being given a purpose all of a sudden dictates our mood, contentedness, happiness.

my hands are changing colors that are not considered normal...like purple and red.

athleticism is almost non-existent in me anymore, however i was told that i ran and threw like a boy this week. hmmm. that comment took me back to the bowl-cut days.

it is possible that i will never have a job like the one that i have a Pike's Perk ever again. Patty Jo, Noelle, Ellen, I, and Jamie all went hiking. Ellen was/and will ever be our favorite Pike's Perk boss. here is a blurred pic from out after hike time at the Donut Mill.

a la carte of thoughts.

2008-03-24T13:01:00.004-07:00

We should have Easter Music season. I remember back in The North Carolina (emphasized for March Madness) K 104.7 played Christmas music 2 months or so before Christmas. So hear ye, hear ye...Easter Music...donde estas (where are you)?

I don't know if you have ever been to a Seder (the Jewish Passover Dinner), but this past Friday I was able to attend one at church. The meal is a time to recognize God's deliverance of the Israel people from their slavery and bondage in Egypt. Every part of the meal symbolized something. The food, scripture, of course the Matzo bread and wine (juice), and even the songs of worship. I think that it is so neat to be apart of history. And God is still in the deliverance business.

Easter having been celebrated this past weekend means that Spring is full force. I encourage you to call my mother in the next, oh hundred or so days. Lately the reaction that she has given after asking her about her day is..."It's spring. It's sunny. And the greenhouse is full of flowers." Makes me laugh.

Spring feeva is such a struggle this year. Makes me contemplate tanning bed.

Will any southern baptist admit doing lent this year? Growing up thinking that it was only a practice of catholicism, I put my roots aside and took part. i tried to give up cussing, but it lasted 3 days. so then i tried to give up smoking, but hell. No i really did decide to give up stepping on the scale. Old habits die hard they say.

Encouragement

2008-03-13T21:36:00.002-07:00

"oh waaaooww, you look like the 4th of July. Makes me wanna hotdog reeaaeal bad."

-LB2

Good Tidings, Good Tidings

2008-03-06T08:57:00.006-07:00

I feel as though there has been some powerful truths that have been spoken into my life lately. I also feel encouraged to share them. 1 Chronicles 16:23 says to "sing to the Lord" and "proclaim good tidings of His salvation from day to day."

By His grace, He has saved me. Is saving me, still. God never hid the fact that it takes a daily choice to follow Him (Luke 9:23.) This is not easy. Not only, because of the fact it is self-denying, but it also is nothing of this world...which we live in and are often confronted by. Brother Lawrence, in his book The Practice of the Presence of God, writes "that in order to form a habit of conversing with God, and referring to Him all that we do, we must first apply to Him with some diligence, but that after a little care we should find His love inwardly excite us to do it without any difficulty." I find that statement very true. It takes effort.

A good analogy that Raleigh gave last night about this (that also hit home), is that if we say (in spoken word, thought or prayer, possibly etc.) that we want to do better in school, then it takes more studying or going to class, etc...effort to do better in school. For me words are easily said, and actions left to be taken.

So if I love the Lord. Say that I want to live my life for Him. Then what action that I take actually represent that? Oswald Chambers wrote that "if you are in love, you do not sit around dreaming about the one you love; you go and do something for him." Practical.

I know that knowing these words and His truth matters to my Savior.

Lastly, in good tidings, the lord gave me the opportunity to make a public profession of what He has done and is still doing in my life.

BAPTISM!! woop woop!

and no...Raleigh and I did not plan the color coordination.

Applaud if moved!

2008-02-21T09:21:00.003-07:00

I just wanted to make you all aware of a tip that could possibly be life changing if not physically and emotionally enhancing...i know it was for me!

Mary Kay has released top advice on how to achieve a Wow Brow. Something that I have found most profound are the tips for the unbeatable brows that really seem to draw attention to, none other, the Mary Kay sparkle color lip gloss I have been so hesitant to use.

But know that it is much more important to stick to the basics:

moisturize
moisturize
moisturize ladies!!

It is age defying!

confusing...and not confusing

2008-02-13T16:52:00.002-07:00

confusing is:

a 60 degree day forcasting a night of snow
why i still have "my humps" on my i tunes followed by "come on over, baby" while letting my playlist shuffle (can be dangerous)
a male under the age of 60 driving with a lap dog

not confusing is

why i never get tired of the jackson 5
...or backstreet boys
a 60 degree day
loving every meal at 314

in conclusion to my post i have found defining confusing is not as important as defining unsettling.

unsettling-

"my humps" followed by "come on over baby" followed by "i want it that way"
followed by, none other than, "hit me baby one more time"...hmmm...and only in
the matter of this post.

2008-02-11T08:37:00.000-07:00

my heart found so flawed
prone to wonder
so easily captivated by an attempt
at defining what is best for my life

i have neither lost the ability
to cease control
nor gained the humility to recognize
my life is not my own

what a shame it would be
to come to the end of my days
and have claimed any right to the
good so often placed before me

what use is self
but for the instrument of
which true identity and
Life can be carried

may all hope result in
never being seen again
refine this cry
refine

Pictures

2008-02-08T10:02:00.000-07:00

Some belated Christmas pics...woops.

oh spenc...
little cousin Lisa...who is getting married so soon.

leslie came and stayed for a little while. packing and repacking her car has come to an end now that she is in whidbey!!

two things that my heart has taken a liken to:

1. iscicles
2. sunsets over His mountains
Recently!!

Yesterday i met with dorri and the kids (tristen and trenton) for the first time since nannying. we ate mexican, chatted, shared laughs and memories. tristen is in kindergarten and trenton in his first year of middle school. both enjoying it. dorri doing well, looking for a place to move her and the kids into close to where they were living.

This is Chandler. We have walked together for many-a-week now. It is soon coming to an end in today being my last employed day as his "walker." I have learned to love even though I didn't want to because of my time spent with this dog. True story.
Purpleish and red toes and fingers=very cold.

White toes=frostbite

White toes= is it cold?...'cause i can't feel it.

The Blackthorn Project

2008-01-31T09:05:00.000-07:00

Check out these guys. The Blackthorn Project

They played at the coffee shop that I work at and thought they were quite enjoyable. Husband and wife. Have been playing together for 11 years. Fun, folky sound too! FIDDLE included!!

Lana, I would love to hear feedback considering your music expertise! I'll try not to be nervous to hear the response.

P.s. It snowed last night. Praise God! Now it's sunny! Woop Woop!